Igor's advice
Apr. 28th, 2003 10:20 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
angledgeTrouble with affairs of the heart? Call your gay husband (if you're lucky enough to have one) for a supportive listen! I am lucky enough, but sadly Igor moved to Denver, CO a few months ago, so I no longer can go over to his house, drink peach tea, & loll on the sofa while discussing every last thing about nothing. The phone is a distant second-best option.
So I told him that I'm falling in love with Stacy, & that the idea scares the crap out of me. I explained the similarities between this situation & the History of Dave. And Igor said, "Just because it was like that with Dave, doesn't mean it will be like that again." So obvious, & yet so reassuring. Of COURSE it doesn't have to be the same way - the value of prior experience, of course, is that you get to learn from it so you can do something better the next time. Then Igor says, "There is a Russian proverb: 'Only stupid people learn from their own mistakes. Smart people learn from the mistakes of others.' " So then he told me that I should be learning from his mistake: the mistake of not embracing love as fully as possible.
I guess I believe him. I have prayed to God many nights, have I not, for love to come my way? Well, God has answered my prayer, but has done so in a way that challenges me. I'm going to have to be trusting (I hate that!) & I'm going to have to deal with not having control of the situation (I really hate that!). I'm going to have to believe that God has a plan, & that plan will be what's best.
I Corinthians 13:4-8a: "Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends."
So I told him that I'm falling in love with Stacy, & that the idea scares the crap out of me. I explained the similarities between this situation & the History of Dave. And Igor said, "Just because it was like that with Dave, doesn't mean it will be like that again." So obvious, & yet so reassuring. Of COURSE it doesn't have to be the same way - the value of prior experience, of course, is that you get to learn from it so you can do something better the next time. Then Igor says, "There is a Russian proverb: 'Only stupid people learn from their own mistakes. Smart people learn from the mistakes of others.' " So then he told me that I should be learning from his mistake: the mistake of not embracing love as fully as possible.
I guess I believe him. I have prayed to God many nights, have I not, for love to come my way? Well, God has answered my prayer, but has done so in a way that challenges me. I'm going to have to be trusting (I hate that!) & I'm going to have to deal with not having control of the situation (I really hate that!). I'm going to have to believe that God has a plan, & that plan will be what's best.
I Corinthians 13:4-8a: "Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends."
