Ang's Journal

ON AWAKENING is a well-known passage from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous (pp. 86-87):

"On awakening let us think about the twenty-four hours ahead. We consider our plans for the day. Before we begin, we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives. Under these conditions we can employ our mental faculties with assurance, for after all God gave us brains to use. Our thought-life will be placed on a much higher plane when our thinking is cleared of wrong motives.

In thinking about our day we may face indecision. We may not be able to determine which course to take. Here we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought or a decision. We relax and take it easy. We don't struggle. We are often surprised how the right answers come after we have tried this for a while.

What used to be the hunch or the occasional inspiration gradually becomes a working part of the mind. Being still inexperienced and having just made conscious contact with God, it is not probable that we are going to be inspired at all times. We might pay for this presumption in all sorts of absurd actions and ideas. Nevertheless, we find that our thinking will, as time passes, be more and more on the plane of inspiration. We come to rely upon it."

Two paragraphs further, the Big Book says: "If circumstances warrant, we ask our wives or friends to join us in morning meditation. If we belong to a religious denomination which requires a definite morning devotion, we attend to that also. If not members of religious bodies, we sometimes select and memorize a few set prayers which emphasize the principles we have been discussing. There are many helpful books also. Suggestions about these may be obtained from one's priest, minister, or rabbi. Be quick to see where religious people are right. Make use of what they offer."

I would like to either find or - if necessary - found an AA group that meets in the morning (via Zoom) & goes through this passage as a meditation. There are a couple of meditations available on Insight Timer that use it, but I have been unable to establish a habit of using them by myself. I envision a meeting where we do opening stuff (Serenity Prayer, introductions, newcomers, chip takers) & then a brief introduction to the meditation.

We will now read On Awakening from pp. 86-87 of the Big Book. After each sentence, we will pause so that you can think about your day & ask your Higher Power for guidance. We encourage you to write down your thoughts as we read & reflect, if you find that helpful. Following the reading, we will open the floor to discussion about our plans for the day or any other recovery-related topic.

15 sentences... maybe 30 seconds pause between each? That would end up being about a 10-minute meditation. Say five minutes for introductory stuff & two minutes for closing, that leaves a solid 40+ minutes for discussion.

We might also break up the discussion at about the halfway mark by having someone read the Daily Reflection (& that's a good time to remind people about a Venmo code for donations).

Close with the Third Step Prayer.

Sleep: SH said 11:20 PM – 6:30 AM, but I definitely stayed in bed later than that. We’ll call it 8 hours. Headache was gone when I awakened.

Program: I tried to attend an AA meeting in Traveler’s Rest, but Google Calendar helpfully changed the meeting time from noon to 10 AM because it thought I entered it in MST. Grrrrrrr.

Tasks: I tried to be helpful around the house today. I cleaned the spare bathroom. I did some laundry (mostly mine). I took Mom shopping in Hendersonville. Then we watched a bunch of college football.

Food: Potato pancakes & bacon (& coffee w/milk) for breakfast, snacked on mint Oreos & taquitos, then dinner at Yellow Ginger – I had Malay sweet & sour chicken. It was a citrusy version of General Tso’s chicken. I skipped the rice.

Exercise: A mashup of rowing, arm weights, & stationary bike. My left arm – particularly my triceps – is noticeably weaker than my right arm & the muscle twitches when under strain. I’m trying to decide how worried I am about it, & who I should ask about it. I suspect it is related to the pinched nerve I had in my neck last… Year? Two years ago?

Mood: Definitely ready to go HOME.

Grats: 1. Dogs! 2. I got to chat with A* briefly. 3. B* & I are going to be workout accountability buddies.

Uhh, Monday & Tuesday were great, I guess?

Sleep: BLEARGH. My flight from Denver to Greenville-Spartanburg was delayed by weather last night. We landed almost exactly at midnight local time. I finally got to Mom & Dad's house at about 1:20 AM. I slept until about 6:00 AM, then tossed & turned until 7:30 AM.

Program: I forgot to pray this morning, but I did attend a meeting in Hendersonville. Quote of the Meeting: "The energy I spent recovering from a screwing was less than it cost to always be on guard against a screwing." - Kurt

Tasks: I picked up some groceries on my way back from the meeting. Helped a teeny tiny bit with cleaning up dinner. Went to the dog park w/Mom & took some photos of her doggos for her.

Food: Breakfast was a 3-egg omelette with onions, bell peppers, mushrooms, cheddar cheese, cherry tomatoes, & coffee w/milk. Skipped lunch in favor of more coffee at AA & one cookie, then snacked on marinated olives. Dinner was a weird chicken/spaghetti casserole that was like a bunch of comfort foods all thrown into one pot, a salad, & beets.

Exercise: Little bits of walking. 5,333 steps / 56 minutes active. Samsung Health is disappointed in me.

Mood: Pretty good, considering I spent the day with my family. Actually, pretty good, without considerations.

Grats: 1. I spent a day with my family & didn't lose my temper once. Admittedly, I left for 3 hours in the middle of the day, but if that's what it takes... 2. I forget how pretty this part of the country is. It's nice to be here again for a few days. 3. I got to ride my dad's e-bike & it was awesome!