nightmare

Last night featured the return of the worst recurring nightmare I've ever had. I first had this dream when I was a senior in high school, & it has tormented me on & off since then. But I hadn't had it in YEARS.

Here's the plot: I'm sitting in a straight-backed wooden chair that's in the center of an immense room (so large I cannot see the walls or the ceiling, but somehow I still know I'm indoors). I hear footsteps approaching me from behind. Eventually, a man appears on my right, about 15 feet away from me. He is medium height, with short black hair, green eyes, & a completely neutral expression on his face. He is dressed in a conservative black outfit, & is carrying a silver handgun in his left hand, which he keeps pointed at the floor. He paces around me in a semicircle, watching me the whole time but saying nothing. When he comes all the way round to my left side, he approaches me, puts the gun to my temple, & says, "Are you ready?"

Now the horrifying part of this dream is that I always answer, "Yes" & then he shoots me in the head. I've had this dream many times, so I always know what's coming. The minute I start hearing his footsteps, I'm screaming in my head, "NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!" But my suicidal dream-self answers in the affirmative anyway.

I hate this dream.

Lesson No. 1 in Ang Management

This is a really obnoxious post. I'm feeling a bit unglued by the return of the evil nightmare, & therefore even more needy than usual. I've disabled posts because I don't want anyone to feel obligated to post a cheer-up message. ( In fact, no-one should even feel obligated to read it. )

I think it helps just to write it down & get it out of my head.

song lyrics