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[TnTw] I fail at bike.
Jul. 30th, 2006 12:53 pmYesterday: 1 mile swim in wetsuit, 4 mile run. Cool, very good workout.
Today: I had to borrow a bike because Valentina is *STILL* in the shop. This bike was a mountain bike, much heavier than Valentina, & the left clip gave me fits. I did the first 15 miles of the ride pretty well, although my right leg was much more tired than my left (because that foot was clipped in & therefore could pedal much harder). But then we hit.... the Big Rock climb.
Only a mile long. But (judging from the topo map) about 400 feet of elevation change. I was really, really struggling with it, cursing the bike, cursing the sun, cursing myself, cursing the whole idea of triathlon. I started seeing riders coming back down & I shouted to them, "How much further?" The answer was uniformly the same: "It's just around the bend!" Ladies & gentlemen, my team is comprised of liars.
Have you ever seriously over-exerted yourself? It's a weird feeling. My legs felt like they were dissolving, becoming water-weenies instead of limbs made of flesh & bone. I started to cry, partly out of sheer nerves but partly because I was so frustrated with myself for riding so poorly. Then I started to have trouble breathing, & THAT'S when I fell over. Crash. Vomit. Cry some more.
Although I didn't know it, I was less than 150 feet from the top. I picked up the bike & stood on the side of the road for a while with my hands of top of my head & tears streaming down my face. My teammates thankfully ignored me. I finally, FINALLY got back on the bike, fought with the fucking left clip for a while, & I slowly, slowly, slowly made it up the last bit of the climb.
The team mentors at the summit water stop pulled me in at that point & I got a ride back to the starting point. I did not go on the run afterwards.
I am sulking & right now I'm convinced that I've bitten off more than I can chew with this event. I'm scared & depressed & full of self-reproach for not finishing the ride. I hate being this up-and-down - good workout -> I'm on top of the world; bad workout -> I'm ready to quit & eat six dozen donuts. I wish I could be a little bit more philosophical about it, acknowledge that there are good training days & bad training days, but that never seems to be my approach.
Today: I had to borrow a bike because Valentina is *STILL* in the shop. This bike was a mountain bike, much heavier than Valentina, & the left clip gave me fits. I did the first 15 miles of the ride pretty well, although my right leg was much more tired than my left (because that foot was clipped in & therefore could pedal much harder). But then we hit.... the Big Rock climb.
Only a mile long. But (judging from the topo map) about 400 feet of elevation change. I was really, really struggling with it, cursing the bike, cursing the sun, cursing myself, cursing the whole idea of triathlon. I started seeing riders coming back down & I shouted to them, "How much further?" The answer was uniformly the same: "It's just around the bend!" Ladies & gentlemen, my team is comprised of liars.
Have you ever seriously over-exerted yourself? It's a weird feeling. My legs felt like they were dissolving, becoming water-weenies instead of limbs made of flesh & bone. I started to cry, partly out of sheer nerves but partly because I was so frustrated with myself for riding so poorly. Then I started to have trouble breathing, & THAT'S when I fell over. Crash. Vomit. Cry some more.
Although I didn't know it, I was less than 150 feet from the top. I picked up the bike & stood on the side of the road for a while with my hands of top of my head & tears streaming down my face. My teammates thankfully ignored me. I finally, FINALLY got back on the bike, fought with the fucking left clip for a while, & I slowly, slowly, slowly made it up the last bit of the climb.
The team mentors at the summit water stop pulled me in at that point & I got a ride back to the starting point. I did not go on the run afterwards.
I am sulking & right now I'm convinced that I've bitten off more than I can chew with this event. I'm scared & depressed & full of self-reproach for not finishing the ride. I hate being this up-and-down - good workout -> I'm on top of the world; bad workout -> I'm ready to quit & eat six dozen donuts. I wish I could be a little bit more philosophical about it, acknowledge that there are good training days & bad training days, but that never seems to be my approach.
