[TnTw] I fail at bike.
Jul. 30th, 2006 12:53 pmYesterday: 1 mile swim in wetsuit, 4 mile run. Cool, very good workout.
Today: I had to borrow a bike because Valentina is *STILL* in the shop. This bike was a mountain bike, much heavier than Valentina, & the left clip gave me fits. I did the first 15 miles of the ride pretty well, although my right leg was much more tired than my left (because that foot was clipped in & therefore could pedal much harder). But then we hit.... the Big Rock climb.

Only a mile long. But (judging from the topo map) about 400 feet of elevation change. I was really, really struggling with it, cursing the bike, cursing the sun, cursing myself, cursing the whole idea of triathlon. I started seeing riders coming back down & I shouted to them, "How much further?" The answer was uniformly the same: "It's just around the bend!" Ladies & gentlemen, my team is comprised of liars.
Have you ever seriously over-exerted yourself? It's a weird feeling. My legs felt like they were dissolving, becoming water-weenies instead of limbs made of flesh & bone. I started to cry, partly out of sheer nerves but partly because I was so frustrated with myself for riding so poorly. Then I started to have trouble breathing, & THAT'S when I fell over. Crash. Vomit. Cry some more.
Although I didn't know it, I was less than 150 feet from the top. I picked up the bike & stood on the side of the road for a while with my hands of top of my head & tears streaming down my face. My teammates thankfully ignored me. I finally, FINALLY got back on the bike, fought with the fucking left clip for a while, & I slowly, slowly, slowly made it up the last bit of the climb.
The team mentors at the summit water stop pulled me in at that point & I got a ride back to the starting point. I did not go on the run afterwards.
I am sulking & right now I'm convinced that I've bitten off more than I can chew with this event. I'm scared & depressed & full of self-reproach for not finishing the ride. I hate being this up-and-down - good workout -> I'm on top of the world; bad workout -> I'm ready to quit & eat six dozen donuts. I wish I could be a little bit more philosophical about it, acknowledge that there are good training days & bad training days, but that never seems to be my approach.
Today: I had to borrow a bike because Valentina is *STILL* in the shop. This bike was a mountain bike, much heavier than Valentina, & the left clip gave me fits. I did the first 15 miles of the ride pretty well, although my right leg was much more tired than my left (because that foot was clipped in & therefore could pedal much harder). But then we hit.... the Big Rock climb.

Only a mile long. But (judging from the topo map) about 400 feet of elevation change. I was really, really struggling with it, cursing the bike, cursing the sun, cursing myself, cursing the whole idea of triathlon. I started seeing riders coming back down & I shouted to them, "How much further?" The answer was uniformly the same: "It's just around the bend!" Ladies & gentlemen, my team is comprised of liars.
Have you ever seriously over-exerted yourself? It's a weird feeling. My legs felt like they were dissolving, becoming water-weenies instead of limbs made of flesh & bone. I started to cry, partly out of sheer nerves but partly because I was so frustrated with myself for riding so poorly. Then I started to have trouble breathing, & THAT'S when I fell over. Crash. Vomit. Cry some more.
Although I didn't know it, I was less than 150 feet from the top. I picked up the bike & stood on the side of the road for a while with my hands of top of my head & tears streaming down my face. My teammates thankfully ignored me. I finally, FINALLY got back on the bike, fought with the fucking left clip for a while, & I slowly, slowly, slowly made it up the last bit of the climb.
The team mentors at the summit water stop pulled me in at that point & I got a ride back to the starting point. I did not go on the run afterwards.
I am sulking & right now I'm convinced that I've bitten off more than I can chew with this event. I'm scared & depressed & full of self-reproach for not finishing the ride. I hate being this up-and-down - good workout -> I'm on top of the world; bad workout -> I'm ready to quit & eat six dozen donuts. I wish I could be a little bit more philosophical about it, acknowledge that there are good training days & bad training days, but that never seems to be my approach.
no subject
Date: 2006-07-30 08:34 pm (UTC)Have you ever seriously over-exerted yourself? It's a weird feeling. My legs felt like they were dissolving, becoming water-weenies instead of limbs made of flesh & bone. I started to cry, partly out of sheer nerves but partly because I was so frustrated with myself for riding so poorly. Then I started to have trouble breathing, & THAT'S when I fell over. Crash. Vomit."
That's fun, fun muscle failure! Whee!!
Seriously though, it just means that your poor muscles have run out of glucose and are overloaded with fermentation respiration toxins and can't go any more. In a way, it's a good sign - it means you pushed yourself as far as you could go and will go farther next time. The vomit's normal, too, but fucking hell that's no fun. Just keep remembering your Nawlins sarge yelling at you. :P
Also, don't barf on Astrida, should she join you on a ride. plskthx
no subject
Date: 2006-07-30 09:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-30 09:42 pm (UTC)I miss that guy!
Date: 2006-07-31 03:11 am (UTC)If Sgt. Apone had been riding next to me, I would've finished the climb.
Re: I miss that guy!
Date: 2006-07-31 07:33 am (UTC)I told you he might be necessary for the last leg. Having someone next to you kicking you in the ass is always good.
no subject
Date: 2006-07-31 04:33 am (UTC)Do remind yourself "it was just a bad day..." But also, soon you'll have nice lightweight Valentia back, and working clips. It'll get better.
I still think it's super awesome that you're doing this at all. I would have backed out before I even signed up.
Lies while biking
Date: 2006-07-31 01:36 pm (UTC)"Just down the road" = 5 miles
"Around the bed" = 2 miles
"5 minutes away" = 5 miles (this usually is how long it takes in a car)
Entrance to campground = 2 more miles up hill to campsite
You'll feel much better on a bike that is yours and fits!
Re: Lies while biking
Date: 2006-07-31 02:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-31 02:53 pm (UTC)Are you getting good pre-workout nutrition? I'm sure you're smart about that sort of thing, but it's maybe something to look at if you have trouble again. What with all the mad calories you must be burning. You are such an inspiration to me (and everyone else!)
I hope you're feeling better now. *sends good thoughts out your way*
no subject
Date: 2006-07-31 02:58 pm (UTC)I'll figure it out. Hopefully.