Oct. 12th, 2018

angledge: Polar bear laying in a field of flowers (polar bear with flowers)
On Wednesday, I walked to the Denver Elections Division for training for my new second job as an election registration judge (I will be helping voters register, printing ballots at voter service centers, & updating voter registration records – calling the position a “judge” is a gigantic overstatement.). It was about 15 minutes of walking each way. I took Shadeaux for a walk around the neighborhood upon arriving home – perhaps 10 minutes (it was snowing & Shadeaux isn’t ready for winter yet). Then, I walked to the grocery store – perhaps 10 minutes of walking each way. Let’s call it 50 minutes of walking. I also went to Movement that night with D* & we climbed for just over an hour.

With the groceries I purchased, I made dinner – roasted chicken & carrots, & a pre-made side dish that was lightly steamed veggies mixed with salsa & a bit of cheddar cheese. It was a delicious meal. Then last night, I used the meat stripped off the chicken to make curried chicken-apple salad, & the skin & carcass are becoming an Instant Pot full of chicken bone broth (still simmering). I had a spinach salad & the chicken salad for dinner last night, & leftovers from the last two days of cooking for an enormous lunch today.

I’ve been getting into bed around 9:30 PM every night to read & text with friends, taking my Ambien dosage around 10:00 PM, & falling asleep around 10:30 PM. I’m up at 5:30 AM (7 hours of sleep). I shower, pack a lunch, & take Shadeaux to the AA clubhouse, which is an approximately 5-minute drive from my apartment. I park my truck, take Shadeaux for a walk in Cheesman Park, then go to the 7:00 AM AA meeting while she naps in the truck. Then we go to work. She plays with the crew in the shop or snores in my office. We leave around 4:00 PM.

Friends, this all may sound ridiculously simple. But I truly believe it is going to save my sanity. Walking. Exercise. Good food. Sleep. Quiet. Routine. My one concern is that I will self-isolate, living in a basement apartment by myself, but the routine is designed to prevent that – I talk to people at AA every morning (except Thursdays, when I go to Matins at church instead), I talk to my co-workers at the shop, I spend time with my climbing partner D*, etc. I go to church on Sundays & I intend to start going to a Lectio Divina/soup dinner on Thursday evenings with church folks. I’m going to get back into book club (our next book is House of Women by Sophie Goldstein).

This is what I need, very desperately. Some stability. Tons of self-care. Healthy habits. I’m also going to therapy once every two weeks, with a very, very good therapist. I’m taking antidepressants, vitamin supplements, & sleep aids. I’ve even been receiving acupuncture treatments, which I think are making a big difference in my sleep. I’ve always known what I need to do to be healthy. It’s nothing revolutionary – eat healthy, minimally-processed foods, exercise, get sunlight exposure, sleep, socialize. But I haven’t made it a priority to do these things - & keep on doing them. I hope that, with the removal of - ahem - certain distractions from my life, I will make myself a priority for the first time in years.

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