angledge: (DesWorld)
[personal profile] angledge
Last Tuesday, I did an open-water swimming workout before work. So on Monday afternoon, when I was making plans for the workout, I was sort of thinking out loud at my desk & I said, "I wonder where I could stash my wetsuit?"

Des was loitering near my desk & he immediately piped up: "You can hang it in my office!" He sounded very enthusiastic about this idea, which made me a bit wary.

"Why? Why would you want a wet, stinky wetsuit in your office?"

"No, it's fine, Fish Stick. There's a hook on the back of my door. Just hang it there, it's fine."

"WHY ARE YOU SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS?"

Des was practically bouncing from foot to foot. He said, "Don't you see? This will finally be the proof I've been needing to show that I really *AM* an ex-Navy SEAL! I can show it to people & say, 'Yes, well of COURSE I swim to work every morning from Pacifica - it's a habit from my old Navy SEAL days. Of course, these days I don't kill anyone at the end of the swim - ha ha!'"

"Des, it's a women's size 7 wetsuit."

"So?"

"That says TEAM IN TRAINING on it in 4-inch tall letters!"

"Deep cover, Ledgerwood. It's black-ops stuff, I don't expect you to understand."

OK, fine, whatever. Des wants to pretend it's his wetsuit? Excellent.

><((((º>`·.¸¸.·´¯`·.¸.·´¯`·...¸><((((º>`·.¸¸.·´¯`·.¸.·´¯`·...¸><((((º>`·.¸¸.·´¯`·.¸.·´¯`·...¸><((((º>


So the next day, I did the workout, brought the wetsuit into the office, & hung it in Des' office. Then I left for some database training at the EPA. Partway through the day, I got a phone call from Des.

"Ledgerwood, did you know that I* (one of my co-workers) was a competitive swimmer?"

"As a matter of fact, I did."

"Well why didn't you warn me?!"

"Warn you against doing what?"

"I showed him the wetsuit, & explained about being a Navy SEAL, & then I challenged him to race to Alcatraz & back. Then he told me he really had been a competitive swimmer in high school, & I had to withdraw the challenge, because I can't really swim all that well & basically the only way I could hope to win would be if I* had been attacked by sharks."

"It is Shark Week on Discovery Channel, Des. Maybe you should have gone for it."

"All the sharks are busy, Fish Stick! They have television appearances to make!"

"Well then maybe you should stop lying about being a Navy SEAL!"

"Nonsense! I'm taking the wetsuit to Harrington's tonight. I know I'll be a hit."

But I spoiled that plan by reclaiming my wetsuit before quitting time that day. Believe me, gentle readers, the world is not yet ready for the sight of Des crammed into my wetsuit, parading around a San Francisco bar. The horror! The horror!

Dispatch #11.

Date: 2006-08-04 04:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lovellama.livejournal.com
Oh God, that's hilarious. I LOL'ed!

heehee!

Date: 2006-08-04 04:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chaosvizier.livejournal.com
Des rules. Plain and simple.

Date: 2006-08-04 04:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ataralas.livejournal.com
Your boss, he is insane. I love him from afar. Very far. ;)

Date: 2006-08-04 04:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] angledge.livejournal.com
He might, but his home life is a wreck right now (wife is ill, son is ill). He probably can't take a whole day to come watch a race. :-(

Are you still thinking about coming out? I have to warn you, I will be completely involved in TnT stuff all weekend & not available for entertaining guests.....

Date: 2006-08-04 05:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] angledge.livejournal.com
He makes me look forward to going to work. And, man, that's saying something.

Date: 2006-08-04 05:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] angledge.livejournal.com
Well, you know I'd love to see you & [profile] kielbasa_007. You guys remember Astrida, [personal profile] fizrep's girlfriend? She's living at le Chateau now. [profile] evilfb moved out.

Date: 2006-08-04 05:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sskipstress.livejournal.com
The laughter it causes tears. Good thing I'm no longer a professional calligrapher, eh?

Re: It's better than some other nicknames.

Date: 2006-08-04 05:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chaosvizier.livejournal.com
I like Porn Fish myself.

Date: 2006-08-04 05:24 pm (UTC)

Date: 2006-08-04 05:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] agntprovocateur.livejournal.com
i wonder, if you hang bikini in his office, he'd still cop to the undercover ops excuse!

Date: 2006-08-04 05:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] agntprovocateur.livejournal.com
wha' the heck, he moved out? how come i find things out way so late?

Date: 2006-08-04 05:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] angledge.livejournal.com
She's very cool, but hasn't really shown her evil side at le Chateau yet. In fact, she an awesome roommate who cooks yummy food all the time, & Torgi loves her & flirts with-

Actually, that reminds me of the weirdest thing from Wednesday night. [profile] funkyplaid & I were chatting in the living room, & Torgi came in. He was hanging out near the fireplace, & he started rubbing his head against the gargoyle that sits on the hearth. And rubbing his head. And biting the gargoyle, & rubbing it with his paws, & like climbing onto the gargoyle. [profile] funkyplaid & I were trying desperately not to laugh as we watched this bizzare cat-on-statuary live pr0n action. It was.... man, it was WEIRD.

Date: 2006-08-04 05:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] angledge.livejournal.com
Yeah, he moved back over to Marin with [profile] pope_of_discord. We miss him :-(

Let us never speak of this again.

Date: 2006-08-04 05:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] angledge.livejournal.com
Des in a bikini. The horror! The horror!

Date: 2006-08-04 05:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sskipstress.livejournal.com
You're just as bad as she is, and now I have new case of giggles. Good thing it's friday in a gov't office.

Date: 2006-08-04 06:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] agntprovocateur.livejournal.com
i'm a mom, i'm not THAT bad!

*snickers*

ok, maybe a little...

Re: Let us never speak of this again.

Date: 2006-08-04 06:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] love2loveher.livejournal.com
Can't. stop. laughing.

Date: 2006-08-05 12:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] funkyplaid.livejournal.com
I have to admit, it was just a little bit hot.

I mean from a vicarious cat-gargoyle paradigmatic merging point of view.

Just sayin'.

Date: 2006-08-05 02:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] marasca.livejournal.com
Bwahahahahahaha!!

I'm laughing so hard the other teacher in the staff room most certainly thinks I've gone insane...

Date: 2006-08-05 02:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] marasca.livejournal.com
I knew [livejournal.com profile] evilfb moved out, but I had no idea Astrida had moved in! I guess I knew she was thinking of moving to CA for nursing school, though...

I totally need to catch up on the gossip!

Dots jumping around the map.

Date: 2006-08-05 04:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] angledge.livejournal.com
Actually, she got a job at a hospital in the East Bay. She's going to be living with us for three months until [personal profile] fizrep can get his act together & join her out here.

Date: 2006-08-05 01:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] trishalynn.livejournal.com
Believe me, gentle readers, the world is not yet ready for the sight of Des crammed into my wetsuit, parading around a San Francisco bar.

Oh yes they are!!!

Will you kindly tell Des that I'd marry him? Thank you.

Date: 2006-08-05 05:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] branniejan.livejournal.com
BRILLIANT!!

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