#Whole30 #WholeLent Day 13.

[angledge]

Sleep: good, but fuck DST. Waking up at my normal time felt like getting up in the middle of the night. I was going to bring the dogs to the shop today, but neither one of them had moved by the time I was ready to go, so I left them at home. I didn't have the energy to prod them awake & bully them into the truck when they were so obviously comfortable where they were.

Breakfast: 4S casserole, 3 clementines, black coffee.

Lunch: leftover chicken prosciutto involtini & cauliflower mash & a lunch salad (cubed deli chicken, lettuce, carrots, peppers, cherry tomatoes, & Tessamae's creamy ranch dressing -- YUM).

Snack: coconut cream Larabar.

I went to Denver Sports Medicine to get a massage because my shoulder has just been a solid knot of pain. I ended up getting a massage, then some dry needle therapy (a torturous combination of acupuncture & electro-stim therapy) & a talk with the doctor where he let me know gently that my shoulder is a real mess & I am looking at some pretty intense physical therapy to get it fixed. This is completely fucking depressing because I thought I was doing a good job of 1) re-establishing a regular exercise routine & 2) ramping up my yardage slowly. But no, my shoulders still fucking suck.

Dinner: Cake. Whole30 fail.

Back on the wagon tomorrow.

Comments

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

Cake: It's not just for breakfast anymore!

[angledge.livejournal.com]

I know you're just making a joke, but I would ask you: if an alcoholic wrote a post about how they were depressed one evening & went on a bender, would you joke about it? That's where I am with my relationship with sugar. Despite the fact that I PROMISED myself I wouldn't eat this kind of food for Lent, despite the fact that I'm on a forum & going to meetings & doing readings & journaling on this topic, I still couldn't keep from eating that cake. I know I have shitty self-control once I start eating sugar. I know I need to eat healthier foods, especially if I'm going to have surgery in the near future. And despite all of that, I ate a quarter of a cake in one sitting. I ate until I felt sick.

It's kind of not a joke to me at this point.

Also, I'm not mad at you. I just wish people could see that a food addiction is a real thing.

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

This is a fair statement. And you're right, I was making a joke, but a lot of times I'll joke when it's not appropriate. I don't always understand how bad things are for people. That's my fault, and I do that a lot.

I'm sorry. You know me; I would not intentionally try to offend or belittle you, one of my oldest friends. I didn't understand the full scope of your issues. Hopefully I will be more respectful in the future.

[angledge.livejournal.com]

I love you buddy & I want you to imagine I'm giving you a huge hug right now. Better yet, I want you to book a flight to Denver so I can give it to you in person.

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

I love you too, buddy. I definitely need to plan a Colorado vacation with my Dark One and her apprentice Darth Schmau Schmau. ;-)