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angledgeThis morning I was just so damn happy to find the DAILY ANSWERS had reappeared in my Inbox, after a long, long, long, LONG absence. And as if that wasn't great enough, I got quoted twice AND I got a shout-out from the QM for my birthday.
::sits back & basks in the glow::
The DailyQuiz
October 20, 2003
by Dave George
"Give us this day our DailyQuiz..."
***************************
* DQ GENUIS
*
* CHRIS WHITE
*
***************************
BIG WINNERS
LARRY KLING
ANGELA LEDGERWOOD (Happy Birthday to You)
WADE KWON
DIANNA FISHER
JIM PULLEN
"Great googly moogly! I was grepping my "Daily Quiz" sub-directory for my name when this new "DQ" came in. Scary? No. Pathetic? You bet!" - TOM ELSESSER
"Missed you, Dave. How's the job?" - JOANNE FOGARTY
Hooboy. Well, I've been in the Communications department at Atlantic Coast Airlines for about a year. It's fun, but every couple weeks or so they ask me to do some kind of "project" or something. I say something funny, or maybe crush a beer can on my head, and they forget about their request. Also we're in the midst of a hostile takeover by another airline. It's all very Gordon Gecko.
Couple questions for you guys:
How the F do you turn off that annoying "clipboard" that pops up every time I copy text out of an email?
2. Did anyone see that chick singing the Star Spangled Banner at Game 2 of the World Series? Was it me, or did she screw up, pretend to sing a few words, and peek into her hand for the lyrics?)
This is kind of fun. Our own STEVEN BEVIER was on "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?" last week. Perhaps you saw him. To read an account of his adventure, go here--
http://www.msu.edu/user/bevierst/millionaire/index.html
OK, let's get it on...
1. In "The Hunt for Red October" what are three things that the one Russian officer wants to do when he moves to Montana?
“Not talk about Fight Club, Not talk about Fight Club, and, if it’s his first night at Fight Club – he will fight.” – DOUG MORAN
"Raise Elk
Amass a large arsenal of assault rifles
Secede" - MINDY STUECKEL
"Take a hot shower as long as he wants, Eat an apple and throw away the core, and Have something other than Soylent Proletariat for dinner." - MARTIN BREDECK
"1. Put up a website with hundreds of .jpgs of famous supermodels.
2. ??????
3. Profit!" - NEIL DAVIDSON
"1.) Star in really bad movies with Catherine Zeta-Jones. 2.)Make idiotic comments in American TV interviews about the acceptability of smacking your woman every now and then and
3.) Insult Alex Trebeck on "Celebrity Jeopardy." - SID LIPSEY
“Buy an RV, marry a fat American woman and save Laura Dern from velociraptors.” – JOHN MOZENA
"The Olsen twins and Katie Couric." - JONATHAN COLAN
"Find American woman and do it like rabbits." - JEFF BATTLE
"Something about marrying Glenn Close so she can cook rabbits for him." - TERANCE ELLIOTT
"I can't remember, but its probably the same thing I want to do when I get back to the states, Find me a woman, race my car, and drink...a lot." - DENIS GULAKOWSKI
(You guys remember Denis. He's an army officer (our side) over in Iraq. Tell us a story, Denis. Denis has the best stories.)
Correct Answer: “I will live in Montana. And I will marry a round American woman and raise rabbits, and she will cook them for me. And I will have a pickup truck... maybe even a recreational vehicle.”
(Don’t worry, all you animal lovers, Vasili never kills any bunnies. He gets shot dead before the end of the movie.)
"I would like to have seen Montana . . . gurgle." - SCOTT KOWALSKI
"Thank God he took a bullet. Marrying round women, eating rabbits and driving an RV is no way to go through life, son." - JP XENAKIS
"And you know once any secondary movie character admits to having such well-laid out plans for the future that they don't have a snowball's chance of living to see the credits roll. Don't do it, secondary characters!! DON'T PLAN!!" - ANGELA LEDGERWOOD
2. What do Americans produce and release between 200 and 2,500 ml of each and every day?
"Semen...on a good day." - CRAIG STACEY
"Sweat. Salty, slippery, sweat." - NAOMI FIORDIMONDO
"Earwax" - BRUCE SKILLIN
"Plutonium" - BETH GLOVER
"Gas, baby! But not me, I'm a lady." - HEATHER MAST
(You're a fart machine, young lady.)
Correct Answer: Intestinal Gas
"i'm at the high end of that range. just ask my cube neighbors. my releases cause many incidents of "prarie-dogging" in the office." - MATT YOUNG
(Don't you work at some super-secret intelligence organization, Matt? "Gentlemen, we have reason to believe that bin Laden may well be--OH SWEET JESUS, YOUNG!!")
3. What Las Vegas hotel claims to have the world's brightest man-made beam of light?
“Doesn't matter, as long as it's used to blind Celine Dion.” – DOUG MORAN
"Well not the MGM Mirage now that Siegfried and Roy are through. A moment of silence, please." - NAOMI FIORDIMONDO
(Hey, how 'bout a moment of silence for the tiger? That poor guy's gotta get an AIDS test every six weeks for the next five years.)
Correct Answer: Luxor
"Hey, didn't NASA tell them to turn that darn thing down, because it was blinding shuttle pilots when they drove by?" - BOB FARKAS
(No, but they did turn it down to save money. True story.)
"My wife and I got married in Vegas about 4 months ago, and, considering the recent tragedy, we were a bit disappointed that we missed seeing Sigfried and Roy...being eaten by tigers." - ROBBY FRAZOR
"A side note - avoid the buffet at the Holiday Inn. How there is still a Holiday Inn on The Strip is beyond me. And always always always always always double down on eleven. Don't live a life strewn with regret." - MATT LARSON
"I think my proudest recent accomplishment is spending a night in Las Vegas without either drinking or gambling." - SID LIPSEY
(The only people who don't drink or gamble in Las Vegas are either in jail or a tiger-induced coma.)
(Tell me you at least sampled the local whorage.)
"Hey QM - did you see last season's Fear Factor where they had contestants slide down the outside of the Luxor and grab flags? That was cool." - SPIKE JONES
(Yeah, but with all the safety devices, where's the fear? Why couldn't they have done that same stunt without the saftey cable but with an airbag at the bottom? When is someone going to butch up and produce a real reality show? Like people wouldn't still sign on to compete in a show where there was an actual chance of injury or worse.)
(That's not a bit, I really want to know.)
(Oh, but that one Fear Factor, where the trash-talkin' guy bounces his face off the platform when he jumped between two boats? That was awesome.)
(Also, the boobs on FF? Also awesome.)
4. What is the official language of Austria?
Correct Answer: German
5. How could they make WNBA games more interesting?
"Trick question! The WNBA folded back around 1998, didn't it?" - CHRIS WHITE
(Hey, Assblaster, didn't I call you a couple weeks ago about an upcoming gig at the Store? Listen to me very carefully. Are you listening? OK. I BLOW YOU OFF. YOU DO NOT BLOW ME OFF. Capiche?)
"Cancel them." - STEWART VANDENBERG
"Flubber!" - BETH GLOVER
"Substitute the ball with a rabid porcupine. But that would make any game more interesting." - ALEXANDRA RICKER
"Winners are presented with the children of the losers to enslave, eat, or otherwise do with as they please." - JONATHAN COLAN
"Shirts vs Skins" - Slew of ya
"no, no, that would be bad." - SCOTT KOWALSKI
"Less talk, more nipple." - PAT GEORGE
"gonna have to go with the guys on this one and say.. make them play naked." - RACHEL EVELYN
(It's hotter when a girl says it.)
"2 words --- "Hire Brandi Chastain"." - TOM ELSESSER
(Why?? She is not hot. She took her shirt off years ago on TV, and we're supposed to wish we had more muscles when she walks into the bar? I wish she had less muscles. Do you hear me, Brandi? I will not do you.)
'C'mon, Brandi. What gives with the shirt?' -- Kevin Garnett" - DOUG MASSEY
(That just might be the whitest interpretation of a black guy's quote. Anyone care to correct Douglas?)
"Dress Shaquille O'neal up in a dress and have him play...no wait...then we'd get him confused with that other chick. " - MICHELLE MONTANO
"They could start by acknowledging their staunch lesbian fan base instead of trying to pretend they don't see us while they're taking our money at the season ticket box office *grumble grumble, personal gripe*. But for my money, WNBA games are already more interesting than NBA games. There's more emphasis on play-making & skills, & less emphasis on show-boating. Go NY Liberty!!" - ANGELA LEDGERWOOD
(So YOU'RE the fan. I heard they had one.)
"By using a smaller ball and lowering the net, or by dropping the W." - VICTOR NEVES
"Fill the rosters with men and repackage as the 'NBA'" - JP XENAKIS
Correct Answer: “Use actual women.” – BRIAN BATTLE
Runner-Up Answer: "How could the make them less interesting, after watching a(n?) WNBA game I over stimulated but ....Topless is the obivious answer, but close others involve pudding and the tiger from Zigfried and Roy" - DAN COCOS
(Welcome to America, Dan!!!)
6. In which Spike Lee movie does Radio Raheem nearly brain a couple Korean shopkeepers for not providing D batteries fast enough?
"'Brain' as a verb? I’ve never heard of that." - MELANIE TAYLOR
(That's OK. It's probably good that you've never had anyone say they're going to "brain ya". And then brained ya.)
"Cuba Gooding Jr. will soon be portraying Radio's early days, where he inspires a rural High School football team by giving their coach the pummelling he so richly deserves." - MARTIN BREDECK
"Gary the Rat? Oh, wait... that's Spike TV. I always get those two mixed up... I mean, they're hardly discernible, huh?" - DAVID RICHARDSON
(Yes, someone should sue.)
Correct Answer: “Do the Right Thing”
"Give me some extra moozerella on that mother f*cker and sh*t." - ERNITA THOMAS
7. On what reality TV show did comic Pete Giovine get booed off stage after opening (in NYC) with a bit about the things he admires about terrorists?
Correct Answer: The Restaurant
“Amazingly enough, that's the only five minutes I've actually watched of "The Restaurant".” – JOHN MOZENA
(I dug that show. But then, I don’t have cable, so what were my options?)
"It was like rubbernecking every sunday night." - MATT YOUNG
8. What was the name of Prince’s band? And if he had more than one, I’m talking about the one from the movie “Purple Rain”.
"Freddie Prinze? That would be the Silver Bullet Band." - CHRIS WHITE
(That's genuis. Genuis, I say. And that's why Chris is today's DQ Genuis.)
Correct Answer: The Revolution
"They kind of reminded me of the Partridge Family." - RICH DETHOMAS
(Yeah, I think a couple of them wore shirts with ruffles.)
"I wonder if Wendy and Lisa are still together." - SID LIPSEY
(Were they..."together"? Oh man.)
"Damned shame about Wendy & Lisa." - WALT CHARLTON
(What? Did they break up? Die? Or are you saying it's a shame that they're gay? Yeah, Walt, that's why you won't be having the sex with them.)
(Besides, wouldn't they be about 50 by now?)
"Wendy & Lisa, were responsible for the theme music for Crossing Jordan's first season." - JONATHAN SPELL
9. What prolific and dead rapper was named for a Peruvian terrorist organization?
"El Pollo Rico. Wait, that's a Peruvian chicken organization." - TOM MARVIN
“MC Sendero Luminoso” – JOHN MOZENA
Correct Answer: Tupac Amaru Shakur
"I'm sorry, but that American chick that got imprisoned for helping them was HOT." - TIMOTHY WILSON
(Oh good Lord. You'd think YOU'D been in a cold Peruvian jail for the better part of a decade, Tim. Lori Berenson is not hot. She wasn't even hot before spending the last 8 years in solitary. She's downright pasty now.)
(And if I can just say this about that. The most fascinating thing about Lori Berenson's case was when she stood screaming and ranting in Spanish like a loon in court, saying the Tupac Amaru were not a terrorist organization. I was like, "Hoooboy, THAT ain't gonna help yer case.")
Here's the quote: "in the MRTA there are no criminal terrorists. It is a revolutionary movement." - LORI BERENSON
(Yes. And Zagnuts aren't delicious.)
10. If you were a terrorist, and of course you're not and never will be, but if you were, what would the name of your terrorist organization be?
“Steve's Most Divine and Righteous Eternal Jihad and Bridge Club, since my name isn't Steve, they'll never find me (I'm an evil genius!)” – CARL KNORR
"Bowling Jihad! We will strike!" - TOM ELSESSER
"L33t T3rr0r15t5 (only computer crimes)" - PAT GEORGE
"People For The Unethical Treatment of Slow Drivers" - DAVE HAGLER
"FLLF - Fast Lane Liberation Front - Dedicated to freeing the fast lane to people who drive fast." - PAUL GEORGE
"The Organization to Liberate What's in my Pants." - CHRIS URICH
"Fox Force Five. At every bomb site, we'd leave a card with an old vaudevillian joke written on it." - BETH GLOVER
("Ketchup!")
"true story: working in the counterterrorism field for the US gov't, i often attend meetings to discuss terrorist-related stuff around the world. in one meeting, someone brought up the Moro Islamic Liberation Front. it went something like this: "who's watching the MILF? someone should be watching the MILF."
i just about died. i was trying hard to keep from giggling and when i looked around, no one else was even flinching, which is complete bs. every guy knew what a MILF was, but i guess i was the only one with a bad poker face. or a complete lack of focus, which is why i'm writing this email at work." - MATT YOUNG
"Al Roquar" - BRANDON ELDRIDGE
"Al Bundy" - BOB FARKAS
""Al-quiet." It would wage a bloody holy war against people who talk during movies. I went to see "Kill Bill" the other night and these two women behind me would not shut the hell up. I felt like taking a cue from the movie and going all Ginsu on those chatterboxes. To all you
movie talkers out there: You may think you are whispering but we can hear every word you say. So do all of us who weren't raised in a friggin' barn a favor and just watch the DVD at home, where you can yammer on all you want about how skinny Uma Thurman is." - SID LIPSEY
"AAAl Qaida...that way, I'd be the first one you saw in the yellow pages when you were looking to fill your terrorism needs." - JP XENAKIS
*****
To subscribe to the DailyQuiz send a blank email to
thedailyquiz-subscribe@topica.com
::sits back & basks in the glow::
The DailyQuiz
October 20, 2003
by Dave George
"Give us this day our DailyQuiz..."
***************************
* DQ GENUIS
*
* CHRIS WHITE
*
***************************
BIG WINNERS
LARRY KLING
ANGELA LEDGERWOOD (Happy Birthday to You)
WADE KWON
DIANNA FISHER
JIM PULLEN
"Great googly moogly! I was grepping my "Daily Quiz" sub-directory for my name when this new "DQ" came in. Scary? No. Pathetic? You bet!" - TOM ELSESSER
"Missed you, Dave. How's the job?" - JOANNE FOGARTY
Hooboy. Well, I've been in the Communications department at Atlantic Coast Airlines for about a year. It's fun, but every couple weeks or so they ask me to do some kind of "project" or something. I say something funny, or maybe crush a beer can on my head, and they forget about their request. Also we're in the midst of a hostile takeover by another airline. It's all very Gordon Gecko.
Couple questions for you guys:
How the F do you turn off that annoying "clipboard" that pops up every time I copy text out of an email?
2. Did anyone see that chick singing the Star Spangled Banner at Game 2 of the World Series? Was it me, or did she screw up, pretend to sing a few words, and peek into her hand for the lyrics?)
This is kind of fun. Our own STEVEN BEVIER was on "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?" last week. Perhaps you saw him. To read an account of his adventure, go here--
http://www.msu.edu/user/bevierst/millionaire/index.html
OK, let's get it on...
1. In "The Hunt for Red October" what are three things that the one Russian officer wants to do when he moves to Montana?
“Not talk about Fight Club, Not talk about Fight Club, and, if it’s his first night at Fight Club – he will fight.” – DOUG MORAN
"Raise Elk
Amass a large arsenal of assault rifles
Secede" - MINDY STUECKEL
"Take a hot shower as long as he wants, Eat an apple and throw away the core, and Have something other than Soylent Proletariat for dinner." - MARTIN BREDECK
"1. Put up a website with hundreds of .jpgs of famous supermodels.
2. ??????
3. Profit!" - NEIL DAVIDSON
"1.) Star in really bad movies with Catherine Zeta-Jones. 2.)Make idiotic comments in American TV interviews about the acceptability of smacking your woman every now and then and
3.) Insult Alex Trebeck on "Celebrity Jeopardy." - SID LIPSEY
“Buy an RV, marry a fat American woman and save Laura Dern from velociraptors.” – JOHN MOZENA
"The Olsen twins and Katie Couric." - JONATHAN COLAN
"Find American woman and do it like rabbits." - JEFF BATTLE
"Something about marrying Glenn Close so she can cook rabbits for him." - TERANCE ELLIOTT
"I can't remember, but its probably the same thing I want to do when I get back to the states, Find me a woman, race my car, and drink...a lot." - DENIS GULAKOWSKI
(You guys remember Denis. He's an army officer (our side) over in Iraq. Tell us a story, Denis. Denis has the best stories.)
Correct Answer: “I will live in Montana. And I will marry a round American woman and raise rabbits, and she will cook them for me. And I will have a pickup truck... maybe even a recreational vehicle.”
(Don’t worry, all you animal lovers, Vasili never kills any bunnies. He gets shot dead before the end of the movie.)
"I would like to have seen Montana . . . gurgle." - SCOTT KOWALSKI
"Thank God he took a bullet. Marrying round women, eating rabbits and driving an RV is no way to go through life, son." - JP XENAKIS
"And you know once any secondary movie character admits to having such well-laid out plans for the future that they don't have a snowball's chance of living to see the credits roll. Don't do it, secondary characters!! DON'T PLAN!!" - ANGELA LEDGERWOOD
2. What do Americans produce and release between 200 and 2,500 ml of each and every day?
"Semen...on a good day." - CRAIG STACEY
"Sweat. Salty, slippery, sweat." - NAOMI FIORDIMONDO
"Earwax" - BRUCE SKILLIN
"Plutonium" - BETH GLOVER
"Gas, baby! But not me, I'm a lady." - HEATHER MAST
(You're a fart machine, young lady.)
Correct Answer: Intestinal Gas
"i'm at the high end of that range. just ask my cube neighbors. my releases cause many incidents of "prarie-dogging" in the office." - MATT YOUNG
(Don't you work at some super-secret intelligence organization, Matt? "Gentlemen, we have reason to believe that bin Laden may well be--OH SWEET JESUS, YOUNG!!")
3. What Las Vegas hotel claims to have the world's brightest man-made beam of light?
“Doesn't matter, as long as it's used to blind Celine Dion.” – DOUG MORAN
"Well not the MGM Mirage now that Siegfried and Roy are through. A moment of silence, please." - NAOMI FIORDIMONDO
(Hey, how 'bout a moment of silence for the tiger? That poor guy's gotta get an AIDS test every six weeks for the next five years.)
Correct Answer: Luxor
"Hey, didn't NASA tell them to turn that darn thing down, because it was blinding shuttle pilots when they drove by?" - BOB FARKAS
(No, but they did turn it down to save money. True story.)
"My wife and I got married in Vegas about 4 months ago, and, considering the recent tragedy, we were a bit disappointed that we missed seeing Sigfried and Roy...being eaten by tigers." - ROBBY FRAZOR
"A side note - avoid the buffet at the Holiday Inn. How there is still a Holiday Inn on The Strip is beyond me. And always always always always always double down on eleven. Don't live a life strewn with regret." - MATT LARSON
"I think my proudest recent accomplishment is spending a night in Las Vegas without either drinking or gambling." - SID LIPSEY
(The only people who don't drink or gamble in Las Vegas are either in jail or a tiger-induced coma.)
(Tell me you at least sampled the local whorage.)
"Hey QM - did you see last season's Fear Factor where they had contestants slide down the outside of the Luxor and grab flags? That was cool." - SPIKE JONES
(Yeah, but with all the safety devices, where's the fear? Why couldn't they have done that same stunt without the saftey cable but with an airbag at the bottom? When is someone going to butch up and produce a real reality show? Like people wouldn't still sign on to compete in a show where there was an actual chance of injury or worse.)
(That's not a bit, I really want to know.)
(Oh, but that one Fear Factor, where the trash-talkin' guy bounces his face off the platform when he jumped between two boats? That was awesome.)
(Also, the boobs on FF? Also awesome.)
4. What is the official language of Austria?
Correct Answer: German
5. How could they make WNBA games more interesting?
"Trick question! The WNBA folded back around 1998, didn't it?" - CHRIS WHITE
(Hey, Assblaster, didn't I call you a couple weeks ago about an upcoming gig at the Store? Listen to me very carefully. Are you listening? OK. I BLOW YOU OFF. YOU DO NOT BLOW ME OFF. Capiche?)
"Cancel them." - STEWART VANDENBERG
"Flubber!" - BETH GLOVER
"Substitute the ball with a rabid porcupine. But that would make any game more interesting." - ALEXANDRA RICKER
"Winners are presented with the children of the losers to enslave, eat, or otherwise do with as they please." - JONATHAN COLAN
"Shirts vs Skins" - Slew of ya
"no, no, that would be bad." - SCOTT KOWALSKI
"Less talk, more nipple." - PAT GEORGE
"gonna have to go with the guys on this one and say.. make them play naked." - RACHEL EVELYN
(It's hotter when a girl says it.)
"2 words --- "Hire Brandi Chastain"." - TOM ELSESSER
(Why?? She is not hot. She took her shirt off years ago on TV, and we're supposed to wish we had more muscles when she walks into the bar? I wish she had less muscles. Do you hear me, Brandi? I will not do you.)
'C'mon, Brandi. What gives with the shirt?' -- Kevin Garnett" - DOUG MASSEY
(That just might be the whitest interpretation of a black guy's quote. Anyone care to correct Douglas?)
"Dress Shaquille O'neal up in a dress and have him play...no wait...then we'd get him confused with that other chick. " - MICHELLE MONTANO
"They could start by acknowledging their staunch lesbian fan base instead of trying to pretend they don't see us while they're taking our money at the season ticket box office *grumble grumble, personal gripe*. But for my money, WNBA games are already more interesting than NBA games. There's more emphasis on play-making & skills, & less emphasis on show-boating. Go NY Liberty!!" - ANGELA LEDGERWOOD
(So YOU'RE the fan. I heard they had one.)
"By using a smaller ball and lowering the net, or by dropping the W." - VICTOR NEVES
"Fill the rosters with men and repackage as the 'NBA'" - JP XENAKIS
Correct Answer: “Use actual women.” – BRIAN BATTLE
Runner-Up Answer: "How could the make them less interesting, after watching a(n?) WNBA game I over stimulated but ....Topless is the obivious answer, but close others involve pudding and the tiger from Zigfried and Roy" - DAN COCOS
(Welcome to America, Dan!!!)
6. In which Spike Lee movie does Radio Raheem nearly brain a couple Korean shopkeepers for not providing D batteries fast enough?
"'Brain' as a verb? I’ve never heard of that." - MELANIE TAYLOR
(That's OK. It's probably good that you've never had anyone say they're going to "brain ya". And then brained ya.)
"Cuba Gooding Jr. will soon be portraying Radio's early days, where he inspires a rural High School football team by giving their coach the pummelling he so richly deserves." - MARTIN BREDECK
"Gary the Rat? Oh, wait... that's Spike TV. I always get those two mixed up... I mean, they're hardly discernible, huh?" - DAVID RICHARDSON
(Yes, someone should sue.)
Correct Answer: “Do the Right Thing”
"Give me some extra moozerella on that mother f*cker and sh*t." - ERNITA THOMAS
7. On what reality TV show did comic Pete Giovine get booed off stage after opening (in NYC) with a bit about the things he admires about terrorists?
Correct Answer: The Restaurant
“Amazingly enough, that's the only five minutes I've actually watched of "The Restaurant".” – JOHN MOZENA
(I dug that show. But then, I don’t have cable, so what were my options?)
"It was like rubbernecking every sunday night." - MATT YOUNG
8. What was the name of Prince’s band? And if he had more than one, I’m talking about the one from the movie “Purple Rain”.
"Freddie Prinze? That would be the Silver Bullet Band." - CHRIS WHITE
(That's genuis. Genuis, I say. And that's why Chris is today's DQ Genuis.)
Correct Answer: The Revolution
"They kind of reminded me of the Partridge Family." - RICH DETHOMAS
(Yeah, I think a couple of them wore shirts with ruffles.)
"I wonder if Wendy and Lisa are still together." - SID LIPSEY
(Were they..."together"? Oh man.)
"Damned shame about Wendy & Lisa." - WALT CHARLTON
(What? Did they break up? Die? Or are you saying it's a shame that they're gay? Yeah, Walt, that's why you won't be having the sex with them.)
(Besides, wouldn't they be about 50 by now?)
"Wendy & Lisa, were responsible for the theme music for Crossing Jordan's first season." - JONATHAN SPELL
9. What prolific and dead rapper was named for a Peruvian terrorist organization?
"El Pollo Rico. Wait, that's a Peruvian chicken organization." - TOM MARVIN
“MC Sendero Luminoso” – JOHN MOZENA
Correct Answer: Tupac Amaru Shakur
"I'm sorry, but that American chick that got imprisoned for helping them was HOT." - TIMOTHY WILSON
(Oh good Lord. You'd think YOU'D been in a cold Peruvian jail for the better part of a decade, Tim. Lori Berenson is not hot. She wasn't even hot before spending the last 8 years in solitary. She's downright pasty now.)
(And if I can just say this about that. The most fascinating thing about Lori Berenson's case was when she stood screaming and ranting in Spanish like a loon in court, saying the Tupac Amaru were not a terrorist organization. I was like, "Hoooboy, THAT ain't gonna help yer case.")
Here's the quote: "in the MRTA there are no criminal terrorists. It is a revolutionary movement." - LORI BERENSON
(Yes. And Zagnuts aren't delicious.)
10. If you were a terrorist, and of course you're not and never will be, but if you were, what would the name of your terrorist organization be?
“Steve's Most Divine and Righteous Eternal Jihad and Bridge Club, since my name isn't Steve, they'll never find me (I'm an evil genius!)” – CARL KNORR
"Bowling Jihad! We will strike!" - TOM ELSESSER
"L33t T3rr0r15t5 (only computer crimes)" - PAT GEORGE
"People For The Unethical Treatment of Slow Drivers" - DAVE HAGLER
"FLLF - Fast Lane Liberation Front - Dedicated to freeing the fast lane to people who drive fast." - PAUL GEORGE
"The Organization to Liberate What's in my Pants." - CHRIS URICH
"Fox Force Five. At every bomb site, we'd leave a card with an old vaudevillian joke written on it." - BETH GLOVER
("Ketchup!")
"true story: working in the counterterrorism field for the US gov't, i often attend meetings to discuss terrorist-related stuff around the world. in one meeting, someone brought up the Moro Islamic Liberation Front. it went something like this: "who's watching the MILF? someone should be watching the MILF."
i just about died. i was trying hard to keep from giggling and when i looked around, no one else was even flinching, which is complete bs. every guy knew what a MILF was, but i guess i was the only one with a bad poker face. or a complete lack of focus, which is why i'm writing this email at work." - MATT YOUNG
"Al Roquar" - BRANDON ELDRIDGE
"Al Bundy" - BOB FARKAS
""Al-quiet." It would wage a bloody holy war against people who talk during movies. I went to see "Kill Bill" the other night and these two women behind me would not shut the hell up. I felt like taking a cue from the movie and going all Ginsu on those chatterboxes. To all you
movie talkers out there: You may think you are whispering but we can hear every word you say. So do all of us who weren't raised in a friggin' barn a favor and just watch the DVD at home, where you can yammer on all you want about how skinny Uma Thurman is." - SID LIPSEY
"AAAl Qaida...that way, I'd be the first one you saw in the yellow pages when you were looking to fill your terrorism needs." - JP XENAKIS
*****
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But...
Date: 2003-10-27 06:27 am (UTC)Re: But...
Date: 2003-10-27 06:45 am (UTC)Re: But...
Date: 2003-10-28 05:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-27 10:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-27 11:18 am (UTC)