More sharing of American culture

[angledge]

My Norwegian friend Kristin has taken her next step into American culture: eating peanut butter & jelly sandwiches. The first time Kristin saw me making one, she said (as diplomatically as possible): "That doesn't look very nice." But after a few weeks of persuasion




And guess what? Agreeing with millions of elementary school-age kids, Kristin decides PB&Js are tasty!


So ... we've had a jack-o-lantern carving lesson, & we've taken Kristin to watch American football. I was thinking that next we should bake an apple pie, but that's kind of hard. Suggestions for further lessons in Americana? And you, fizrep and chaosvizier: keep them G-rated.

Comments

[funkyplaid.livejournal.com]

Hm.

Maybe we can organize, disregard, and then fix a small, democratic election?

Run into England and start killing or subjugating everyone, stating from our hearts and observational genius that they're planning terrorist activities and stockpiling weapons of mass consumption?

Aww, never mind...

:)

[angledge.livejournal.com]

Very creative, but I was hoping to introduce her to the parts of American culture that I like.

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

Well, I'm sure that we could all go and-

And you, fizrep and chaosvizier: keep them G-rated.

...ummmmmm... that is, we could teach her to hate the French, just in case she hasn't mastered that skill. They're pretty nice and open up in Norway and haven't learned the finer points of francophobia. Heh.

Ok, barring that... American baseball? Nothing's more patriotic than rooting for a bunch of millionaire drug addicts beating balls with long hard wood. Nope.

[krick.livejournal.com]

Jelly is really, really nasty. I eat plain peanut butter sandwiches only. Crunchy peanut butter if possible. The crunchier, the better.


You should introduce her to my recipe for grilled cheese, another American favorite, or at least my favorite...

Ingredients:
- 2 slices of white bread
- 2 slices of cheese (or some multiple of 2 proportional to your love of cheese)
- 1 slice of german bologna (the kind with pork in it)
- mayonnaise
- brown mustard (or whatever kind you like best)

Fry the piece of bologna until it browns and curls into something that looks like a meat diaphragm. Set aside.

Take each piece of bread, coat one side with mayonnaise, the other with mustard. Place both pieces of bread mayo side down in a pan (side by side, open face style) then add a piece of cheese to each. Fry on low-medium until cheese starts to melt. Frying them this way gets both sides done equally and in half the time (no flipping).

Combine the fried bologna and the two pieces of bread with the cheese side facing in and the bologna in the middle.

KRISTIN WATCH OUT!!!!!

[krick.livejournal.com]

Look out Kristin! There's a killer sneaking in behind you!!!!



...And she's carrying porn!!!!



...and the hand carring the porn has a watch!!!!!!



Dear god woman!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!!!

Re: KRISTIN WATCH OUT!!!!!

[angledge.livejournal.com]

I can't decide what's more amusing, the fact that you have this much time on your hands at work, or that the person you've targeted as a killer is Heather, the ex-kindergarten teacher Theology PhD student.

Re: KRISTIN WATCH OUT!!!!!

[krick.livejournal.com]

I'm "working from home" today. Last night, we were blessed with 4 inches precipitation, the white fluffy kind. There's supposed to be more on the way as well. I've got a pantry full of canned goods and a freezer full of frozen pizza. BRING IT ON, Mother Nature!

Re: KRISTIN WATCH OUT!!!!!

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

Hey, those kindergarten teachers are more likely to snap than you can possibly imagine. They're like Viet Nam veterans. Even worse that she's got theology on her side. You guys are gonna be Happy Heather Meals some night...

[angledge.livejournal.com]

I make my grilled cheese sandwiches with Kraft slices & tomato. The best appliance for making these is either a toastie maker (a British cooking device I've yet to find at home) or one of the really old-fashioned waffle makers where you could turn the cooking plates around to get a flat surface. Butter the outsides of the slices of bread, two Kraft slices per sanwich, & as much tomato as could be crammed in there. Dee-yummy-licious.

[krick.livejournal.com]

You know, you can make grilled PB&J sandwiches. People tell me they're very good. However you have to be very careful when eating them because hot jelly is just like napalm.

Sea monkey porn!!!

[krick.livejournal.com]

After further study, I have determined that not only is carrying porn, it's SEA MONKEY porn!!!



I've (roughly) outlined the sea monkeys to make it easier to see. Notice the crown shape of the sea monkey kingdom crest at the bottom of the page.

This is disgusting. She should be ashamed of herself. Exploiting those poor sea monkeys.

[krick.livejournal.com]

lovely!

[(Anonymous)]

Hey Angela- Thanks for letting me know that this unflattering picture of me is now creating great stories for your friends. The fact is that YES- I think I am carrying porn- I had a copy of the new British version of Cosmopolitan in my hands. After reading it- I think it is more porn than not. My former kindergarten students would be proud to know that I spend my time reading more that systematic theology books. Angela- your online friends are pretty funny- I think I would like to taste them... I mean, meet them some time... Heather

Re: lovely!

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

Ooooh, Cosmopornitan! My second-favorite porno mag ever, next to Victoria's Secret catalogs...

your online friends are pretty funny- I think I would like to taste them...

You would! We're much tastier than theology texts. That's all dry and dusty and bland. We're juicier and meatier by far!