angledge | LaVerne Sheldon McPherson, 1920-2005

My grandfather passed away about three hours ago. He had been ill with cancer & heart problems.

He & my grandmother were married for 65 years. Right now, I'm grieving mostly for Grandma - how must life look without the company of such a longtime companion? I'm also grieving for my mom, & the rest of the family. But as for me, I don't feel the loss that strongly. I've only seen my grandfather twice in the last ten years. We were from completely different worlds, & sometimes I don't think he approved of mine. When I saw him after my freshman year in Cornell engineering, his only comment on my classes was, "What's a girl doing studying that stuff?" Then again, when my cousin Ashley outed me to our grandparents a few years back, he & Grandma called me that very day to tell me that they loved me. I suppose that love is what matters in the end.

I will remember the good things. I will remember helping him feed the hogs when I visited their farm as a kid. I will remember his childish delight in eating ice cream (my God, he ate a lot of ice cream). I will remember standing on the back porch of my parents' house in Medford during a summer thunderstorm, listening to Grandpa tell me how thunder & lightning reminded him of being on the beaches of Okinawa in 1945. I will remember how his voice would nearly break when he would say grace at Thanksgiving or Christmas.

Eighty-five years on the planet, & now he's off on the greatest adventure yet. No more chemotherapy, no more pain, no more doctors telling him to restrict his ice cream consumption. If what I recite at church on Sundays is really what I believe, then in the words of the Nicene Creed: "I believe in the resurrection of the body, and the life everlasting, Amen."

Edit: My deep thanks to everyone who has posted comments. Your words & thoughts provide great comfort.