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Dispatch from DesWorld #12.
Aug. 4th, 2006 09:37 amLast Tuesday, I did an open-water swimming workout before work. So on Monday afternoon, when I was making plans for the workout, I was sort of thinking out loud at my desk & I said, "I wonder where I could stash my wetsuit?"
Des was loitering near my desk & he immediately piped up: "You can hang it in my office!" He sounded very enthusiastic about this idea, which made me a bit wary.
"Why? Why would you want a wet, stinky wetsuit in your office?"
"No, it's fine, Fish Stick. There's a hook on the back of my door. Just hang it there, it's fine."
"WHY ARE YOU SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS?"
Des was practically bouncing from foot to foot. He said, "Don't you see? This will finally be the proof I've been needing to show that I really *AM* an ex-Navy SEAL! I can show it to people & say, 'Yes, well of COURSE I swim to work every morning from Pacifica - it's a habit from my old Navy SEAL days. Of course, these days I don't kill anyone at the end of the swim - ha ha!'"
"Des, it's a women's size 7 wetsuit."
"So?"
"That says TEAM IN TRAINING on it in 4-inch tall letters!"
"Deep cover, Ledgerwood. It's black-ops stuff, I don't expect you to understand."
OK, fine, whatever. Des wants to pretend it's his wetsuit? Excellent.
><((((º>`·.¸¸.·´¯`·.¸.·´¯`·...¸><((((º>`·.¸¸.·´¯`·.¸.·´¯`·...¸><((((º>`·.¸¸.·´¯`·.¸.·´¯`·...¸><((((º>
So the next day, I did the workout, brought the wetsuit into the office, & hung it in Des' office. Then I left for some database training at the EPA. Partway through the day, I got a phone call from Des.
"Ledgerwood, did you know that I* (one of my co-workers) was a competitive swimmer?"
"As a matter of fact, I did."
"Well why didn't you warn me?!"
"Warn you against doing what?"
"I showed him the wetsuit, & explained about being a Navy SEAL, & then I challenged him to race to Alcatraz & back. Then he told me he really had been a competitive swimmer in high school, & I had to withdraw the challenge, because I can't really swim all that well & basically the only way I could hope to win would be if I* had been attacked by sharks."
"It is Shark Week on Discovery Channel, Des. Maybe you should have gone for it."
"All the sharks are busy, Fish Stick! They have television appearances to make!"
"Well then maybe you should stop lying about being a Navy SEAL!"
"Nonsense! I'm taking the wetsuit to Harrington's tonight. I know I'll be a hit."
But I spoiled that plan by reclaiming my wetsuit before quitting time that day. Believe me, gentle readers, the world is not yet ready for the sight of Des crammed into my wetsuit, parading around a San Francisco bar. The horror! The horror!
Dispatch #11.
Des was loitering near my desk & he immediately piped up: "You can hang it in my office!" He sounded very enthusiastic about this idea, which made me a bit wary.
"Why? Why would you want a wet, stinky wetsuit in your office?"
"No, it's fine, Fish Stick. There's a hook on the back of my door. Just hang it there, it's fine."
"WHY ARE YOU SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS?"
Des was practically bouncing from foot to foot. He said, "Don't you see? This will finally be the proof I've been needing to show that I really *AM* an ex-Navy SEAL! I can show it to people & say, 'Yes, well of COURSE I swim to work every morning from Pacifica - it's a habit from my old Navy SEAL days. Of course, these days I don't kill anyone at the end of the swim - ha ha!'"
"Des, it's a women's size 7 wetsuit."
"So?"
"That says TEAM IN TRAINING on it in 4-inch tall letters!"
"Deep cover, Ledgerwood. It's black-ops stuff, I don't expect you to understand."
OK, fine, whatever. Des wants to pretend it's his wetsuit? Excellent.
><((((º>`·.¸¸.·´¯`·.¸.·´¯`·...¸><((((º>`·.¸¸.·´¯`·.¸.·´¯`·...¸><((((º>`·.¸¸.·´¯`·.¸.·´¯`·...¸><((((º>
So the next day, I did the workout, brought the wetsuit into the office, & hung it in Des' office. Then I left for some database training at the EPA. Partway through the day, I got a phone call from Des.
"Ledgerwood, did you know that I* (one of my co-workers) was a competitive swimmer?"
"As a matter of fact, I did."
"Well why didn't you warn me?!"
"Warn you against doing what?"
"I showed him the wetsuit, & explained about being a Navy SEAL, & then I challenged him to race to Alcatraz & back. Then he told me he really had been a competitive swimmer in high school, & I had to withdraw the challenge, because I can't really swim all that well & basically the only way I could hope to win would be if I* had been attacked by sharks."
"It is Shark Week on Discovery Channel, Des. Maybe you should have gone for it."
"All the sharks are busy, Fish Stick! They have television appearances to make!"
"Well then maybe you should stop lying about being a Navy SEAL!"
"Nonsense! I'm taking the wetsuit to Harrington's tonight. I know I'll be a hit."
But I spoiled that plan by reclaiming my wetsuit before quitting time that day. Believe me, gentle readers, the world is not yet ready for the sight of Des crammed into my wetsuit, parading around a San Francisco bar. The horror! The horror!
Dispatch #11.
