[special filter] Looking the gift horse right in the fucking mouth.

[angledge]

OK, this is angledge being really, really uncharitable. Time to vent a little bit about jacesan.

Background: I met jacesan in July 2005 at the ljdq Pub Crawl. I got super-drunk that evening, & I was flirting with him. He asked for my phone number & I gave it to him, & in the next few weeks we went out on two dates. The dates weren't that great, & his behavior was kind of weird (as a f'instance, he called me up drunk one night & told me all about his time in jail) (I have such great taste in men), so I met up with him & told him I wasn't interested in going out again. I met la chica at about the same time.

Since then, jacesan has been one of the top commenters on my LJ, & he specializes in extremely complimentary, flattering, fawning commentary. Now, don't get me wrong, a girl likes to hear a bit of praise every now & again.
But
there
is
a
point
where
flattery
... starts to become cloying (edit: or downright scary). On top of this, remember how he gave me that really weird gift last autumn - a bust of Katchoo from Strangers in Paradise? That was an expensive gift. I don't feel that this is normal behavior towards someone with whom you went out on two dates.

He's also donated $475 to my triathlon fundraiser. Holy shit. I'm deeply grateful for the contributions, but deeply suspicious about the motivation. I feel HORRIBLE for questioning someone's generosity, but when combined with all his other actions, it makes me feel uncomfortable. I feel that, because he knows I won't ignore anyone who makes a contribution, that he is buying my attention.

Added freaky-deaky: jacesan has subscribed to an EPA mailing list that lets him know where I'm working when I'm on emergency responses. It was after he told me this that I de-friended him. Call me paranoid, but it made me uncomfortable that he would know when I was working on sites as isolated as the Zeibright Mine, & that he would have the site address.

When I de-friended him, he started posting disturbing song lyrics as his answers to the ljdq. His latest contribution:

Dying all the time
Lose your dreams
And you will lose your mind.
Aint life unkind?

I don't actually think that jacesan represents a danger to me. But he does make me uncomfortable, & he does cause me to heavily censor &/or filter what I post to my own damn LJ. Am I just being paranoid here or is he actually being strange?

Comments

[ataralas.livejournal.com]

Oh, no question about it, he's being weird. Very weird and creepy.

Have you talked to CV about banning him from ljdq?

You can also ban him from commenting on your journal at all. Means he could still read unlocked things, but can't comment.

[angledge.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure I want to escalate this. He knows both my home & work addresses, as well as my cell phone number & work number. If I cut off all internet-based contact, might he not decide to contact me via other means?

[ataralas.livejournal.com]

My friend, you are already altering your behaviour because he makes you feel uncomfortable. Taking steps to relive that discomfort is not escalating things, it's repairing them.

My suggestion? Send him an email saying something along the lines of you'd prefer not to be in contact with him, and then just don't respond to him at all.

[angledge.livejournal.com]

Now I have written just such an email.