[special filter] Looking the gift horse right in the fucking mouth.

[angledge]

OK, this is angledge being really, really uncharitable. Time to vent a little bit about jacesan.

Background: I met jacesan in July 2005 at the ljdq Pub Crawl. I got super-drunk that evening, & I was flirting with him. He asked for my phone number & I gave it to him, & in the next few weeks we went out on two dates. The dates weren't that great, & his behavior was kind of weird (as a f'instance, he called me up drunk one night & told me all about his time in jail) (I have such great taste in men), so I met up with him & told him I wasn't interested in going out again. I met la chica at about the same time.

Since then, jacesan has been one of the top commenters on my LJ, & he specializes in extremely complimentary, flattering, fawning commentary. Now, don't get me wrong, a girl likes to hear a bit of praise every now & again.
But
there
is
a
point
where
flattery
... starts to become cloying (edit: or downright scary). On top of this, remember how he gave me that really weird gift last autumn - a bust of Katchoo from Strangers in Paradise? That was an expensive gift. I don't feel that this is normal behavior towards someone with whom you went out on two dates.

He's also donated $475 to my triathlon fundraiser. Holy shit. I'm deeply grateful for the contributions, but deeply suspicious about the motivation. I feel HORRIBLE for questioning someone's generosity, but when combined with all his other actions, it makes me feel uncomfortable. I feel that, because he knows I won't ignore anyone who makes a contribution, that he is buying my attention.

Added freaky-deaky: jacesan has subscribed to an EPA mailing list that lets him know where I'm working when I'm on emergency responses. It was after he told me this that I de-friended him. Call me paranoid, but it made me uncomfortable that he would know when I was working on sites as isolated as the Zeibright Mine, & that he would have the site address.

When I de-friended him, he started posting disturbing song lyrics as his answers to the ljdq. His latest contribution:

Dying all the time
Lose your dreams
And you will lose your mind.
Aint life unkind?

I don't actually think that jacesan represents a danger to me. But he does make me uncomfortable, & he does cause me to heavily censor &/or filter what I post to my own damn LJ. Am I just being paranoid here or is he actually being strange?

Comments

[chrysoberyl.livejournal.com]

If this guy's behavior is making you uncomfortable enough to censor your LJ entries and unfriend him, then his behavior is a problem. It is not paranoia to take action when your creepy stalker sense starts tingling. Excessive flattery in an online forum is one thing. The fact that he is keeping tabs on where you are and what you do at work is makes me uncomfortable on your behalf. How much detail about the sites and/or staff handling the sites is given out on the EPA mailing list? Do they ever send you to sites alone?

[angledge.livejournal.com]

The EPA mailing list only says that emergency response activities are taking place at a certain location at a certain time. But it gives specific addresses. The only way he would know if I was going to be at a specific location would be if I talked about it in my LJ - which is why I de-friended him.

I'm never at those sites alone, thankfully. There is always at least one EPA person, & usually a bunch of subcontractors.