Get out of my head, Anna.

[angledge]

I am reading a book right now called Hello I Want To Die Please Fix Me: Depression in the First Person by Anna Mehler Paperny, & it's been a looooong time since a book creeped me out so much by being MY OWN STORY so strongly. I seriously could've written entire chapters of this other woman's memoir. I haven't finished yet, but this is likely to go on my "Recommend to All" book list. If you've ever wondered what serious, life-threatening, suicide-inducing depression feels like, read this book. If it sounds familiar, at least you will know that you aren't alone. If it doesn't, thank your lucky fucking stars.

Alan & I have started watching the series Yellowstone & it's pretty good. We are just starting Season 2. Great cast, pretty setting, decent writing. Kevin Costner's character, John Dutton, is an extra-evil, Hollywood version of my uncle Paul - including all his screwed-up relationships with his children. The show's soundtrack is excellent, featuring several songs by Ryan Bingham, who also is in the cast. I made a Spotify radio station based on the Yellowstone soundtrack & it's mostly feeding me bluegrass & spirituals. I'm countrifying!

I have been using a ResMed AirSense 11 APAP machine for just over a week. It is making a huge difference in my sleep. While awake, I've noticed much less drowsiness while driving (a huge health & safety plus right there, folks!). I also have more energy in the afternoons, & I wake up ready to get out of bed. That being said, I'm also sleeping longer hours. I feel like my body is trying to make up for years of bad sleep. I've also had some vivid dreams that I remember (briefly) upon awakening. I take this as a sign that my brain is spending more time in the REM stage of sleep. I hope it's also more able to clean out plaques & do all the other brain-maintenance tasks that are supposed to happen during Snooze Time.

Comments

[captainsblog]

We just finished a film with Beneful Cumberbunny wot we quite liked called The Electrical Life of Louis Wain, which touches on mental health issues. Then I saw that the director, Will Sharpe, and much of the cast including Crown alumna Olivia Colman, was in a UK series called Flowers. It doesn't touch on mental health issues so much as hit you over the head with a brick. I'm not sure we'll be up to it, given recent unpleasantness between family members that is probably related to DSM-V diagnoses.