tribute time
Sep. 17th, 2003 01:57 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
angledgeI went to Bible study this morning & it was the last time I'm going to see my pastor before I leave for Edinburgh.
I met Ray about 2 1/2 years ago when, after a 13-year absence, I decided to venture back into Presbyterianism. I had toyed with the idea for a couple of months before doing it, & being a child of the Internet, I did some online research to see what kind of welcome a gay grrl could expect. The very day I found the home page of the Presbyterian Church (USA), the site's headline was "Amendment O Fails". Further reading revealed that Amendment O-00, which was a proposal to change the PCUSA's constitution, would have forbidden any church officer from celebrating or recognizing same-sex unions or the use of church property for such celebrations (full text here). But the proposed amendment failed & was NOT adopted. So I thought, "Well, sounds like the church is in a bit of turmoil over this issue. Maybe there is room for me at the table." And with that thinly optimistic attitude, I went to early services on the next Sunday.
Ray conducted that service, & I was impressed with his sermon, as well as his personality, which radiated from him in almost visible waves of energy. He immediately noticed me, the new person, & after the service he bounded over to introduce himself. After we exchanged names, he asked, "So what brought you to church today?" And I said, "The failure of Amendment O." I figured, what the heck, might as well get the coming-out duty taken care of right off the bat. Ray's eyebrows shot up his forehead, but he said, "That's great, that's really great. I hope you find our church open & inclusive." And I could tell he really meant it.
So I began attending Grace early services on a regular basis. I thought that I wouldn't really make it as a churchgoer, because I had a massive backlog of cynicism, disbelief, & anger against organized Christianity to work through. But what kept me coming back was Ray's sermons. His sermons speak to me like little else does (here's one of my favorites in the archives). He doesn't just read bits of the Bible & then say, "This is the Word of the Lord, thanks be to God." He reads it, & then asks the critical questions: If this is true, how does it change my life? What changes to my behavior & attitudes do I have to make to accommodate this amazing truth? What encouragement/admonishment/promise is God offering to humanity in these words? Why should this be important to me?
I kept coming back. On September 30, 2001, I became a member of Grace Presbyterian Church &, since I was never baptized as an infant, Ray baptized me that morning. I stayed with Grace Church, went on a couple of church retreats, joined a women's study group, helped start a 30-something group (which died quickly, unfortunately), did some volunteer work. Ray became my friend as well as my pastor - we'd have meals together occasionally, we loaned each other books, I watched his house & his dogs when his family went on vacation, & he helped me get through last fall with ARCADIS. Earlier this year, I joined a newly forming Bible study group that meets on Wednesday mornings for breakfast. Ray wrote one of my recommendation letters for the St. Andrew's Society scholarship. He signed a copy of his first book for me, & honored me greatly by letting me review & comment on his draft outline for his second book (still being written).
I think our relationship was put to the test when one morning at Bible study, a conversational opportunity suddenly arose for me to come out to the group. I had been out to Ray since the beginning, but I wasn't out to many other people at church. And while I enjoyed the Bible for Breakfast group a lot, there were a few members who were very conservative. But I looked across the table at Ray, & I could tell he knew exactly what I was considering. He managed to look neutral & supportive at the same time, & suddenly I knew that, no matter what the other reactions were, I would have at least one friend left at the table when I finished speaking. So I breathed in & came out - TA-DAH!! A few weeks later, Ray told me that the two most conservative members of the group had both approached him individually, to discuss their views on homosexuality. Just as gay activists have always insisted, they were changed just by the fact that they knew someone - a real person, not just a TV character or something - who was gay. He said I had embodied the Greek meaning of my name (Angela - messenger from God).
I cried that day in the parking lot of the restaurant where our Bible study group meets. I was so happy that this man, who had changed my life tremendously by reviving my faith in God, was telling me that I had made an impact on the faith of others. I am so blessed to have Ray in my life. If the situation ever arises where I'm looking to have a PCUSA Constitutionally condoned commitment ceremony, I am going to ask Ray to officiate. I just know he'll be beaming that incredibly warm & welcoming smile at everyone present.
Thanks, Ray.
song lyrics & music!
I met Ray about 2 1/2 years ago when, after a 13-year absence, I decided to venture back into Presbyterianism. I had toyed with the idea for a couple of months before doing it, & being a child of the Internet, I did some online research to see what kind of welcome a gay grrl could expect. The very day I found the home page of the Presbyterian Church (USA), the site's headline was "Amendment O Fails". Further reading revealed that Amendment O-00, which was a proposal to change the PCUSA's constitution, would have forbidden any church officer from celebrating or recognizing same-sex unions or the use of church property for such celebrations (full text here). But the proposed amendment failed & was NOT adopted. So I thought, "Well, sounds like the church is in a bit of turmoil over this issue. Maybe there is room for me at the table." And with that thinly optimistic attitude, I went to early services on the next Sunday.
Ray conducted that service, & I was impressed with his sermon, as well as his personality, which radiated from him in almost visible waves of energy. He immediately noticed me, the new person, & after the service he bounded over to introduce himself. After we exchanged names, he asked, "So what brought you to church today?" And I said, "The failure of Amendment O." I figured, what the heck, might as well get the coming-out duty taken care of right off the bat. Ray's eyebrows shot up his forehead, but he said, "That's great, that's really great. I hope you find our church open & inclusive." And I could tell he really meant it.
So I began attending Grace early services on a regular basis. I thought that I wouldn't really make it as a churchgoer, because I had a massive backlog of cynicism, disbelief, & anger against organized Christianity to work through. But what kept me coming back was Ray's sermons. His sermons speak to me like little else does (here's one of my favorites in the archives). He doesn't just read bits of the Bible & then say, "This is the Word of the Lord, thanks be to God." He reads it, & then asks the critical questions: If this is true, how does it change my life? What changes to my behavior & attitudes do I have to make to accommodate this amazing truth? What encouragement/admonishment/promise is God offering to humanity in these words? Why should this be important to me?
I kept coming back. On September 30, 2001, I became a member of Grace Presbyterian Church &, since I was never baptized as an infant, Ray baptized me that morning. I stayed with Grace Church, went on a couple of church retreats, joined a women's study group, helped start a 30-something group (which died quickly, unfortunately), did some volunteer work. Ray became my friend as well as my pastor - we'd have meals together occasionally, we loaned each other books, I watched his house & his dogs when his family went on vacation, & he helped me get through last fall with ARCADIS. Earlier this year, I joined a newly forming Bible study group that meets on Wednesday mornings for breakfast. Ray wrote one of my recommendation letters for the St. Andrew's Society scholarship. He signed a copy of his first book for me, & honored me greatly by letting me review & comment on his draft outline for his second book (still being written).
I think our relationship was put to the test when one morning at Bible study, a conversational opportunity suddenly arose for me to come out to the group. I had been out to Ray since the beginning, but I wasn't out to many other people at church. And while I enjoyed the Bible for Breakfast group a lot, there were a few members who were very conservative. But I looked across the table at Ray, & I could tell he knew exactly what I was considering. He managed to look neutral & supportive at the same time, & suddenly I knew that, no matter what the other reactions were, I would have at least one friend left at the table when I finished speaking. So I breathed in & came out - TA-DAH!! A few weeks later, Ray told me that the two most conservative members of the group had both approached him individually, to discuss their views on homosexuality. Just as gay activists have always insisted, they were changed just by the fact that they knew someone - a real person, not just a TV character or something - who was gay. He said I had embodied the Greek meaning of my name (Angela - messenger from God).
I cried that day in the parking lot of the restaurant where our Bible study group meets. I was so happy that this man, who had changed my life tremendously by reviving my faith in God, was telling me that I had made an impact on the faith of others. I am so blessed to have Ray in my life. If the situation ever arises where I'm looking to have a PCUSA Constitutionally condoned commitment ceremony, I am going to ask Ray to officiate. I just know he'll be beaming that incredibly warm & welcoming smile at everyone present.
Thanks, Ray.
song lyrics & music!
