angledge: (polar bear on back)
The last few days have been a bizarre mixture of good & bad.

Good:
  • A surprise visit from M*! They had a stressful week at work & decided to come decompress in the mountains for a couple of days. They arrived late Friday night & left Monday morning. We did a little bit of hiking & took the dogs down to the San Miguel River for some splash time.
  • We also made an awesome peach cobbler on Saturday night, using Palisade peaches Annie bought at the Ridgway farmer's market.
  • After church on Sunday, we went to an art festival in town, which was surprisingly large, varied, & GOOD! I bought a sweater made from alpaca wool that I suspect will be my new favorite thing this winter & we both bought some spice mixes.
  • Sunday night, we sat out on the deck with Alan & Annie to watch the Perseid meteor shower. There were a couple of show-stoppers - extra-bright shooting stars with long tails. We also saw Starlink, which actually freaked M* out a little bit.


Bad:
  • Poor Shadeaux had truly hellish diarrhea starting Thursday afternoon & continuing through Monday morning. She was doing very poorly on Saturday until she finally ate some chicken, rice, & psyllium husk mixed with diluted bone broth. This morning, she ate a bowl of regular dog chow with some rice & chicken & she seems to be feeling nearly normal. I'm giving her a probiotic & keeping my fingers crossed.
  • On Monday morning, the basement toilet backed up (unrelated). I am sure I don't need to belabor the details on why that sucked.
  • Also on Monday morning, Alan & I learned that two of our good friends in town (C* & J*) are getting divorced. They are the couple that owns the Beaumont Hotel (where we held our wedding reception). They just sold the hotel, & I guess they're calling it quits on everything. It's really sad - we love hanging out with them & we had no idea things were going badly between them. They're both planning to move out of state.



I've been reading & listening to a lot of audiobooks lately (thank you, Libby). My recommendations:
  • The Divine Cities Trilogy by Robert Jackson Bennett. A post-apocalyptic world with a murder-mystery feel. What happens when your society has direct connection to the power of the gods - & then those gods are murdered?
  • Demon Copperhead by Barbara Kingsolver. Kingsolver takes the story of David Copperfield & sets it in Appalachia at the outbreak of the OxyContin crisis. Reading this novel while my mom (who lives on the edge of Appalachia) is dealing with pain management issues following her latest back surgery was chilling, to say the least.
  • Project Hail Mary written by Andy Weir & narrated by Ray Porter. This audiobook won the 2022 Audie Award for the Audiobook of the Year. Reminiscent of The Martian, it's another great hard-science action adventure with the survival of humanity being only part of the stakes! Ray Porter brings the nerdy main character to life & the choice to incorporate minimal sound effects was a good one.


In other news, after many years of dilettante gardening, I have made a startling discovery: using fertilizer increases plant health & produce yields!!! Wait until I tell the farmers.

June 2023.

Jun. 1st, 2023 10:19 am
angledge: (heart)
music link

This is the big month. I'm having friends & family descend upon Ouray County starting June 11th. My parents arrived on June 13th & they are planning to move out here! They're looking for a house in Montrose, the "big city" of ~20,000 located a half-hour north of Log Hill Village.

June 16th is Mom's birthday. We're having a dinner at my current favorite restaurant, the Lazy Dog Saloon, to celebrate her birthday & kick off wedding festivities.

The BIG DAY is June 17th. Wedding is at 11 AM, reception will run from noon to 3 PM. Alan & I will spend the night at an undisclosed location. This will also be my parents' 57th anniversary.

Sunday June 18th is Father's Day & we're having a good-bye brunch at our house.

My five-year sobriety anniversary is June 20th.

I'm actually calm (so far). Work is crazy, but work is always crazy. I'm in decent health & decent shape - I actually weighed myself this morning & I'm at the lowest weight I've achieved since moving out here in August 2020. The wedding planning is nearly complete. Money is tight, but I think we can get everything paid for without too much stress (or borrowing).

I'm ready to become Ms. Angela Todd.
angledge: (Default)
music link

Alan & I spend the weekend before Valentine's Day in Albuquerque. On Friday night, we took a tram up Sandia Peak & ate a great meal at Ten 3, a restaurant that boasts views encompassing approximately 13,000 square miles. We could clearly see the lights of Santa Fe, which is about 40 miles to the northeast. It was a great date night.

On Saturday, we walked around Old Town, which dates back to the beginning of the 18th century. Our plan was to shop for wedding rings, but the jewelry available was exclusively silver/turquoise in the Navajo style, which wasn't what we want. Saturday night, we had tickets to the New Mexico Philharmonic. They played two pieces which were totally different. The first was a new composition by Ellen Reid called "Today and Today and Today and Today and Today and Today and Today and Today and Today and Today", which Reid said was supposed to catch the tediousness & tension of life during the COVID lockdowns. I suppose it was successful, because it was tedious to listen to it. Alan described it as "20 minutes of pure anxiety". We weren't fans. The second half of the performance was Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, my all-time favorite piece of music. The conductor did not use sheet music as he conducted the entire symphony! That astonished me. Listening to this beautiful performance was so moving: soaring joy, excitement, a genuine uplifting of the spirit.

Sunday morning, we attended Mass at San Felipe de Neri Church, founded in 1706. Then we ate breakfast at Church Street Cafe & headed out. We were in a hurry to get home in time to watch the Super Bowl: I'm a big Eagles fan & Alan is a lifelong Chiefs supporter, so our teams were facing off in the Big Game. OBVIOUSLY I wish the Eagles had won, but the Chiefs just flat outplayed us, especially in the second half. It was moderately infuriating to be beaten by our former coach Andy Reid, particularly at the end of the game when he throttled us out with textbook clock management. Coach Reid's greatest weakness when he was the Eagles' head coach was managing the clock. He's been working on it, apparently. Alan was very gracious in victory.

Ang likes the Eagles and Alan likes the Chiefs


And now, I'm looking forward to baseball. Surely the Rockies won't let me down again this season!
angledge: (Default)
music link

1,243 days ago on July 26, 2019, I submitted my claim for $125 as my part of the class-action settlement in the 2017 Equifax data breach. Today, I received a $26.35 deposit in my PayPal account from the Equifax Data Breach Settlement Fund.

Let that be a lesson to you, corporate data-whores.... I'm sure they are much more contrite now.
angledge: Polar bear with mountains behind (polar bear mountains)
I went leaf-peeping with my friend M* last weekend & we absolutely hit the peak day for Ironton Valley.

fall in Ironton Valley

Fall 2022 western Colorado

Lake sky mountains beauty
angledge: (heart)
source

The feeder is empty again
and no one is claiming that the birds are greedy
for taking what they pleased.

Look at how the fat, pink flowers
are weighing at the end of each branch,
sucking nutrients into each velvet petal.
How selfish.

Nature hungers, takes and needs.
God, why can't I?

Blessed are we, learning to take what we need.
Sleeping past our alarms.
Reaching for another helping.
Staying a little longer when the evening is unwinding.

Blessed are we, ignoring the rising anxiety
that our needs are somehow silly
because we've survived this long
without the pleasures of this wanting.

God, let these needs be the good sign
of the greening of my life.
angledge: (heart)
Hello friends,

As some of you know, my friend (& incidentally my boss) Beth McNally is hosting a Ukrainian exchange student this year. Tusya is 16 years old & is originally from Mariupol. Tusya has been with the McNallys for the entire school year & during that time, Beth has come to know a few other Ukrainians living in her town of Farmington, New Mexico.

As the situation in Ukraine has become more desperate, I think many of us want to do something - anything! - to help. To that end, I am sending out a list of real Ukrainian women who are either internally displaced within Ukraine or who have fled the country. They are asking for donations via PayPal. Beth's friend Olena Erickson, originally from Ukraine herself & now living in Farmington, has vetted all these accounts. They are real people, known to her family & friends. And they are in desperate need of immediate help.

You can send money via PayPal directly to these women using the email addresses listed below. ANY AMOUNT HELPS.

1. Lydmilabyehkova1969@gmail.com left Cherson and still on her way to western Ukraine.
2. Ksenya230996@gmail.com 9m pregnant from Charkiv currently in western Ukraine. No money.
3. Igohdar1982@gmail.com. still in Cherson with 2 kids under 5. No money for food. Prices are high.
4. Galapankeeva4@gmail.com still in Cherson with a child with Down syndrome.
5. Ireneustynova@gmail.com in Poland with 1.5 y.o. no money.
6. Seka02@ukr.net from Bucha evacuated to western Ukraine, 1 child and 26 weeks pregnant.
7. Tanyaabadea@gmail.com 2.5 y.o + 8m pregnant. No money, need stroller for older child can't hold her anymore.
8. Alocika50@gmail.com still in Ukraine with 3 kids pleading for money for food.
9. Olya1591@gmail.com volunteer in Charkiv. Buys and delivers food for elderly and disabled.

Please distribute this email list to anyone who might be able to help.

Thank you,

Angela.
angledge: (polar bear cub belly)
For over a year, I've been trying to come up with a chai-like drink for my coffee replacement. My goal was to get a lower-caffeine drink that also had a keto-friendly nutrition profile: fats & protein are OK, carbs are not. This coincided with my interest in collagen as a good protein source.

I started with Primal Kitchen's Chai Tea Collagen Keto Latte, a powder meant to be dissolved in hot water. This had a mild chai flavor & a dissatisfying mouth feel, but it was the nutrition base I wanted: 5 g of protein per mug (all from collagen), 2 g of fat, 1.5 g of carbs, 37.5 mg caffeine. I made this with heavy cream for a while, which contributed more fat & improved the mouth feel, but didn't really help with the blah flavor.

I then tried Nutpods French Vanilla Creamer. This boosted the flavor a bit with a little bit of fat & no carbs. I also tried Califia Farms Vanilla Oat Creamer but it was a large increase in carbs for no benefit.

But now, I've hit upon the magic mix. 1 scoop of Primal Kitchen chai collagen, 1/4 cup Bhakti Unsweetened Chai Concentrate, 1/4 cup Picnik Unsweetened Keto Creamer, all vigorously mixed into about 8-10 fl. oz. of boiling water. The Picnik creamer contains MCT oil, which I find sharpens my thought processes noticeably. The chai concentrate adds a strong ginger smell & taste. The result is a beverage with a strong chai flavor, a creamy mouth feel, & a good nutritional profile:
  • 101 kcal
  • 6.5 g fat
  • 7 g protein
  • 2 g of carbs
  • 37.5 mg caffeine

This comes at a price, of course - none of these nutritional supplements or keto-friendly foods are ever cheap:
  • Primal Kitchen chai collagen (a subscription delivered monthly): $71.98/month
  • Bhakti chai concentrate (from City Market): $8.99/week
  • Picnik keto creamer (from Natural Grocers): $4.75/week

This works out to about $2.27 per cup or about $4.54 a day. I drink 2 mugs of this almost every morning & hold off on breakfast until around noon. On fast days, I'll drink two cups of this & possibly a cup or two of bone broth in 24-30 hours.
angledge: (polar bear on back)
All four of my Bowers cousins have had it since December 1st. Two are currently COVID+: Sarah thought she had allergies & is feeling fine (she was vaccinated) & Chris & his wife Tracy both developed pneumonia, were hospitalized, & Tracy is fighting for her life on a ventilator (they were unvaccinated). Susan & Tom were both unvaccinated & had mild cases.

My cousin Kate, her husband Jesse, & their daughter Alma all got mild cases & recovered quickly (they were vaccinated).

Three of six people in my company are currently COVID+. One was very sick & was hospitalized (he was vaccinated w/one J&J shot) & two are currently feeling icky (fully vaccinated/boosted).

My friend Elliott's youngest child wasn't old enough to be vaccinated & she currently has COVID, but the rest of his family (fully vaccinated/boosted) has so far not caught it from their toddler.
angledge: (Default)
Two of Alan's older brothers (Jim & Kevin) & their wives (Stephane & Olivia).
La chica, & I honestly can't believe it took this long for her to get it, considering her job.
Doctor Nick & his family.
Our neighbors across the street: Justin & Annie, & their kids, Carver, Willow, & Ava.
Aunt Nancy & Uncle Paul, & possibly cousin Calvin & some of his kids.

So far, everyone is doing all right, but Uncle Paul was in very bad shape for a while due to severe underlying conditions. It's a mix of vaccinated, boosted, & unvaccinated people.

I felt sick earlier this week & took a Abbott BinaxNOW home test, which came out negative. I was almost - almost - disappointed. Omicron isn't anything to covet, but compared to Delta, it does seem like the kinder, gentler COVID. And it feels nearly inevitable that everyone will catch some variant, sooner or later. Why not get a mild one & then have the super-immunity granted by Moderna/Moderna/Moderna/infection?
angledge: (headbanging stress)
I am reading a book right now called Hello I Want To Die Please Fix Me: Depression in the First Person by Anna Mehler Paperny, & it's been a looooong time since a book creeped me out so much by being MY OWN STORY so strongly. I seriously could've written entire chapters of this other woman's memoir. I haven't finished yet, but this is likely to go on my "Recommend to All" book list. If you've ever wondered what serious, life-threatening, suicide-inducing depression feels like, read this book. If it sounds familiar, at least you will know that you aren't alone. If it doesn't, thank your lucky fucking stars.

Alan & I have started watching the series Yellowstone & it's pretty good. We are just starting Season 2. Great cast, pretty setting, decent writing. Kevin Costner's character, John Dutton, is an extra-evil, Hollywood version of my uncle Paul - including all his screwed-up relationships with his children. The show's soundtrack is excellent, featuring several songs by Ryan Bingham, who also is in the cast. I made a Spotify radio station based on the Yellowstone soundtrack & it's mostly feeding me bluegrass & spirituals. I'm countrifying!

I have been using a ResMed AirSense 11 APAP machine for just over a week. It is making a huge difference in my sleep. While awake, I've noticed much less drowsiness while driving (a huge health & safety plus right there, folks!). I also have more energy in the afternoons, & I wake up ready to get out of bed. That being said, I'm also sleeping longer hours. I feel like my body is trying to make up for years of bad sleep. I've also had some vivid dreams that I remember (briefly) upon awakening. I take this as a sign that my brain is spending more time in the REM stage of sleep. I hope it's also more able to clean out plaques & do all the other brain-maintenance tasks that are supposed to happen during Snooze Time.
angledge: (heart)
ON AWAKENING is a well-known passage from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous (pp. 86-87):

"On awakening let us think about the twenty-four hours ahead. We consider our plans for the day. Before we begin, we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives. Under these conditions we can employ our mental faculties with assurance, for after all God gave us brains to use. Our thought-life will be placed on a much higher plane when our thinking is cleared of wrong motives.

In thinking about our day we may face indecision. We may not be able to determine which course to take. Here we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought or a decision. We relax and take it easy. We don't struggle. We are often surprised how the right answers come after we have tried this for a while.

What used to be the hunch or the occasional inspiration gradually becomes a working part of the mind. Being still inexperienced and having just made conscious contact with God, it is not probable that we are going to be inspired at all times. We might pay for this presumption in all sorts of absurd actions and ideas. Nevertheless, we find that our thinking will, as time passes, be more and more on the plane of inspiration. We come to rely upon it."

Two paragraphs further, the Big Book says: "If circumstances warrant, we ask our wives or friends to join us in morning meditation. If we belong to a religious denomination which requires a definite morning devotion, we attend to that also. If not members of religious bodies, we sometimes select and memorize a few set prayers which emphasize the principles we have been discussing. There are many helpful books also. Suggestions about these may be obtained from one's priest, minister, or rabbi. Be quick to see where religious people are right. Make use of what they offer."

I would like to either find or - if necessary - found an AA group that meets in the morning (via Zoom) & goes through this passage as a meditation. There are a couple of meditations available on Insight Timer that use it, but I have been unable to establish a habit of using them by myself. I envision a meeting where we do opening stuff (Serenity Prayer, introductions, newcomers, chip takers) & then a brief introduction to the meditation.

We will now read On Awakening from pp. 86-87 of the Big Book. After each sentence, we will pause so that you can think about your day & ask your Higher Power for guidance. We encourage you to write down your thoughts as we read & reflect, if you find that helpful. Following the reading, we will open the floor to discussion about our plans for the day or any other recovery-related topic.

15 sentences... maybe 30 seconds pause between each? That would end up being about a 10-minute meditation. Say five minutes for introductory stuff & two minutes for closing, that leaves a solid 40+ minutes for discussion.

We might also break up the discussion at about the halfway mark by having someone read the Daily Reflection (& that's a good time to remind people about a Venmo code for donations).

Close with the Third Step Prayer.
angledge: (polar bear facepaw)
Almost every day now, I hear about someone in my orbit getting their COVID vaccination. My parents have received both doses. My ex- has also (she works in nursing homes). Older women in my Zoom Bible study class. Friends who work in the medical field, or are teachers, or work in other essential categories. B* managed to luck his way into a vaccine last Sunday, when his friend's church had 15 doses left over after an outreach event. Another friend from AA got vaccinated because her husband works for the Southern Ute tribe, & the tribe opened their vaccination event to all employees & their families.

Colorado seems to be doing a decent job of getting shots in arms. As of last Friday, at least 767,803 people in the state have received one vaccine dose & 348,031 receiving both doses. This is out of a total population of 5,758,736 (July 1, 2019 Census population estimate). So 13.3% have received one dose, 6.04% have received both. Quite a ways to go to herd immunity.

Ouray County (population 4,952) has administered 673 first doses & 286 second doses. So 13.6% of our population has gotten one dose & 5.78% have received both doses, roughly equivalent to the state as a whole. I just called the Public Health Agency & they are sticking to their estimate that Phase 3 folks won't be eligible until summer. Sigh.
angledge: Polar bear laying in a field of flowers (polar bear with flowers)
It's been snowing on & off here all weekend, but when the sun is out, it feels WARM. That, plus the lengthening hours of daylight, has turned my mind to the garden.

Alan hasn't really done much gardening at his house - he had some cherry tomatoes & herbs in planter boxes on the back deck, but that's it. However, the meadow behind the house gets full Southern light, & is somewhat sheltered from the wind by pinyon pines all around its periphery. Alan is going to build me a big raised bed, completely enclosed by chicken wire to keep out the varmints (deer, chipmunks, Hobbes). B* asked: "What about bears?" I don't think chicken wire would even slow down a bear. Perhaps I will put up an solar-powered electrified wire like the one I put around my fish pond when Hobbes wouldn't stay out of it. A good zap might deter a bear.

I made my first purchases yesterday. From Camelot Gardens in Montrose, I bought:
  • 2 plastic seedling trays with covers;
  • a grow lamp (I can't remember what I did with the grow lamp I had in Denver);
  • 15 lbs./1.5 cubic ft. of potting soil;
  • 9 seed packets: tomatoes (2 varieties), bell peppers, kale, Swiss chard, cantaloupe, sunflowers, romaine lettuce, & carrots.


We shall see if I can make these into food
Time will tell if I can make these into food.


This morning, I ordered four more packets of seeds from Seed Savers Exchange: hot peppers (2 varieties), butternut squash, & pickling cucumbers. I wanted to get zucchini but they were sold out.

Alan asked the Log Hill Village NextDoor community the date of last frost up here, & got a wide variety of surprisingly unhelpful answers. Online research was similarly vague - altitude makes SUCH a difference here, you can't search by ZIP code or anything so broad. I have decided that I will use June 5th as my last frost date. I back-calculated from there to get some seeding dates for my seeds. Indoors, I'll be starting the peppers in early April; tomatoes mid-April; cantaloupe early May; lettuce, squash, & cucumber in mid-May. The chard, kale, & carrots will be sown outside starting in late April. I am going to do batches of the peppers, tomatoes, carrots, & lettuce; hopefully, that will spread out my harvest times.
angledge: (Default)
I've been in town for 5 1/2 months now, so it was time & past for Shadeaux & Hobbes to meet the local vet. They were both due for some vaccinations & I wanted to have their teeth checked out & nails trimmed.

Our local pet doc is the Ridgway Animal Hospital, & they are the only vet in town. I made an appointment, filled out the new patient forms & emailed them in, & drove the doggos down the hill this afternoon for their checkups. When I got there, they didn't have my new patients forms so I had to fill them out again. I couldn't go inside with them, so a vet tech dragged them in from the front door.

The vet came out a short while later & said they couldn't do anything with Hobbes. They couldn't examine him, couldn't give him his vaccinations, nothing. OK, he is a pretty anxious little beastie, but you couldn't give him treats & play with him for a few minutes? Nope! They gave me two prescriptions for anxiety meds (trazadone & gabapentin). I will have to dose him two hours before a return appointment next week.

The vet said she examined Shadeaux, but she told me she wasn't lumpy & Shadeaux is as lumpy as a toad! I replied that I was surprised that she said she wasn't lumpy, so she re-examined her & decided that yes, she's got quite a few lumps, now that I actually looked for them. They also didn't trim her nails.

This wonderful visit cost me about $180 - but I don't know exactly how much, because they haven't emailed me a bill yet, which they said they would do.

AND - as I'm writing this up, the vet called me. She had some more questions about some of Shadeaux's lumps (good thing she found them?). She offered to trim Shadeaux's nails for free on our return visit next week.

Shadeaux & Hobbes post-vet visit
Maybe it's worth finding a vet in Montrose.
angledge: Polar bear with mountains behind (polar bear mountains)
I ganked this from [personal profile] krait, who reportedly ganked it from [personal profile] scribblemoose, [personal profile] spiced_wine, [personal profile] heartofoshun and others.

I'm asking those who love the outdoors to post a picture on your page. A picture that YOU took. Just a pic. No description. The goal is to regain peace and harmony without negativity. Please copy the text, put a picture on YOUR page, and let's look at these beautiful pictures.

Here you go:

angledge: Polar bear laying in a field of flowers (polar bear with flowers)
music link

Llama in the backseat Saint Bernard in the truck bed


Yes yes, it's a photo of a llama riding in the back seat of a crew cab with a gigantic Saint Bernard riding in the truck bed. I saw this on the way to the grocery store this afternoon in Montrose. I was talking to my parents at the time (hands-free!) & gave them the play-by-play as I drove up & took this crappy photo. We were all laughing our heads off. It felt good to laugh like that.
angledge: (polar bear head hug)
music link

I haven't posted in a while, but I'm excited for this: Jim Butcher is doing an Ask Me Anything (AMA) on Reddit this Saturday 8/22 at 10:30 AM MDT.

Now, to dig through my notes & see what questions I've been stockpiling in my head....
angledge: Polar bear laying in a field of flowers (polar bear with flowers)
music link

"Of the seven deadly sins, surely it is pride that most afflicts the gardener." — Michael Pollan, Second Nature: A Gardener's Education

Having spent $186.27* on raised bed soil, seeds, & plants for my two raised beds this year, I am unlikely to even earn my money back in produce from my garden. But I have gotten my money's worth & then some in pride & enjoyment from cultivating these plants.

My pride & joy.
Tomatoes! Green onions! Kale! Chard! Peppers! Strawberries!

It smells SO GOOD. I get about one strawberry every 3-4 days. Future spaghetti sauce.
Herb fountain. ::: Slow berry production. ::: Future pasta sauce.



* This is a pretty good estimate; however, I don't remember exactly how much I spent on one packet of marigold seeds. I estimated $4. They never sprouted.
angledge: Polar bear standing on an ice cube (drawing polar bear ice cube)
music link

I am posting this entire opinion column because it really made me think. Italics & link from original post, boldface mine.

-----------------------------------------

By Mark Lilla
Dr. Lilla is a professor of humanities at Columbia University.
May 22, 2020

The best prophet, Thomas Hobbes once wrote, is the best guesser. That would seem to be the last word on our capacity to predict the future: We can’t.

But it is a truth humans have never been able to accept. People facing immediate danger want to hear an authoritative voice they can draw assurance from; they want to be told what will occur, how they should prepare, and that all will be well. We are not well designed, it seems, to live in uncertainty. Rousseau exaggerated only slightly when he said that when things are truly important, we prefer to be wrong than to believe nothing at all.

The history of humanity is the history of impatience. Not only do we want knowledge of the future, we want it when we want it. The Book of Job condemns as prideful this desire for immediate attention. Speaking out of the whirlwind, God makes it clear that He is not a vending machine. He shows His face and reveals His plans when the time is ripe, not when the mood strikes us. We must learn to wait upon the Lord, the Bible tells us. Good luck with that, Job no doubt grumbled.

When the gods are silent, human beings take things into their own hands. In religions where the divine was thought to inscribe its messages in the natural world, specialists were taught to take auspices from the disposition of stars in the sky, from decks of cards, dice, a pile of sticks, a candle flame, a bowl of oily water, or the liver of some poor sheep. With these materials, battles could be planned, plagues predicted and bad marriages avoided.

In those places where the gods were thought to communicate verbally with humans, oracles and prophets were designated to provide answers on demand. The most highly revered oracles in the ancient Greek world were the high priestesses at the Temple of Apollo at Delphi. When it came time to respond to a petitioner who had placed a question before her, the priestess would enter the inner sanctum and seat herself on a tripod erected over a crevice in the ground, out of which inebriating gases were thought to rise. These fumes paralyzed her rational faculties and put her in a trance of receptivity that allowed the god Apollo to speak through her in cryptic remarks and riddles. These would be interpreted by a second figure, the prophetess, who answered the grateful petitioner in poetry or prose. It was a very successful start-up and made Delphi a wealthy town.

Prophets today are less flamboyant. Former prime ministers do not, as a rule, sniff drugs before appearing on CNN. They sit meekly in the green room sipping mineral water before being called on to announce our fate. Augurs have given up on sheep livers and replaced them with big data and statistical modeling. The wonder is that we still cry out for their help, given that the future is full of surprises.

Professional forecasters know this about the future, which is why in the small print of their reports they lay out all the assumptions that went into the forecast and the degree of statistical confidence one might have in particular estimates, given the data and research methods used. But harried journalists and public officials don’t read or comprehend the footnotes, and with the public baying for information, they understandably pass on the most striking estimates just to get through the day.

Ancient augurs and prophets were in high-risk professions. Many lost their lives when their predictions failed to materialize, either executed by sovereigns or pulled apart by mobs. We see a bloodless version of this reaction today in the public’s declining confidence in both the news media and the government.

Take a banal example: snowstorms and school closings. A half century ago, when meteorological forecasting was less sophisticated, parents and children would not learn that classes were canceled until the storm began and it was announced on radio and television that very morning. We lived in harmless uncertainty, which for kids was thrilling. When snowflakes fell they even looked like manna from heaven.

Today, mayors and school superintendents, putting their faith in the meteorologists, routinely announce closings a day or more in advance. If the storm fails to arrive, though, they are sharply criticized by parents who lost a day of work or had to find day care. And if an unforeseen storm paralyzes the city, leaving streets unsalted and children stranded at school, the reaction is far worse. More than one mayor has lost a re-election bid because of failed prophecies, victim of our collective overconfidence in human foresight.

Our addiction to economic forecasting is far more consequential. Here the footnotes really do matter but politicians and the press encourage magical thinking.

The candidate declares: My plan will create 205,000 new jobs, raise the Dow 317 points and lower the price of gasoline 15 cents. Two years later, the gloating headline reads: The President’s Unkept Promises. Stagnant growth, a bear market and war in the Middle East make re-election unlikely.

Never mind that declining global demand slowed growth, that Wall Street is a drama queen and that a freakish tanker collision set off the war. A failed presidency is declared. And so the press and the public turn to fresher faces — who of course offer the same absurdly precise predictions. Not for nothing did Gore Vidal call us the United States of Amnesia.

The public square is thick today with augurs and prophets claiming to foresee the post-Covid world to come. I, myself, who find sundown something of a surprise every evening, have been pursued by foreign journalists asking what the pandemic will mean for the American presidential election, populism, the prospects of socialism, race relations, economic growth, higher education, New York City politics and more. And they seem awfully put out when I say I have no idea. You know your lines, just say them.

I understand their position. With daily life frozen, there are fewer newsworthy events to be reported on and debated. Yet columns must be written, and the 24/7 cable news machine must be fed. Only so much time can be spent on the day’s (hair-raising) news conferences or laying blame for decisions made in the past or sentimental stories on how people are coping. So journalists’ attention turns toward the future.

But the post-Covid future doesn’t exist. It will exist only after we have made it. Religious prophecy is rational, on the assumption that the future is in the gods’ hands, not ours. Believers can be confident that what the gods say through the oracles’ mouth or inscribe in offal will come to pass, independent of our actions. But if we don’t believe in such deities, we have no reason to ask what will happen to us. We should ask only what we want to happen, and how to make it happen, given the constraints of the moment.

Apart from the actual biology of the coronavirus — which we are only beginning to understand — nothing is predestined. How many people fall ill with it depends on how they behave, how we test them, how we treat them and how lucky we are in developing a vaccine. The result of those decisions will then limit the choices about reopening that employers, mayors, university presidents and sports club owners are facing. Their decisions will then feed back into our own decisions, including whom we choose for president this November. And the results of that election will have the largest impact on what the next four years will hold.

The pandemic has brought home just how great a responsibility we bear toward the future, and also how inadequate our knowledge is for making wise decisions and anticipating consequences. Perhaps that is why our prophets and augurs can’t keep up with the demand for foresight. At some level, people must be thinking that the more they learn about what is predetermined, the more control they will have. This is an illusion. Human beings want to feel that they are on a power walk into the future, when in fact we are always just tapping our canes on the pavement in the fog.

A dose of humility would do us good in the present moment. It might also help reconcile us to the radical uncertainty in which we are always living. Let us retire our prophets and augurs. And let us stop asking health specialists and public officials for confident projections they are in no position to make — and stop being disappointed when the ones we force out of them turn out to be wrong. (A shift from daily to weekly news conferences and reports would be a small step toward sobriety.)

It is bad enough living with a president who refuses to recognize reality. We worsen the situation by focusing our attention on litigating the past and demanding certainty about the future. We must accept what we are, in any case, condemned to do in life: tap and step, tap and step, tap and step...

June 2025

S M T W T F S
1 234567
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
2930     

Syndicate

RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Jun. 14th, 2025 02:55 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios