Ang's Journal

It's like 2016 all over again. I think last time Trump won I was alone in a hotel room in Leadville. I was far more surprised in 2016 - I really never thought our country would elect such a despicable blowhard, such an obvious liar & charlatan, such a fool. But I guess I was the fool.

This time, I knew how many people admire this man. My parents voted for him. My husband voted for him. The main road to my house is lined with Trump flags & banners. So, while I had hoped that Kamala would pull it off, I wasn't exactly surprised when she didn't. I had guessed that Pennsylvania was going to be the "Keystone State", har har har. I've been physically threatened by homophobic assholes in the rural parts of Pennsyltucky, because I had a rainbow sticker on my car. So I knew.

I don't have any kids. I have two stepsons, technically, & two step-grandkids. But they are not mine in any meaningful sense. I have a niece & a nephew, both of whom are nearly strangers to me. I don't really have a personal investment in the generations following mine. That was an entirely deliberate choice. I can't say that my concern about climate change was the only reason I decided not to have children, but it definitely was a reason. I remember having a screaming argument with my then-boyfriend Dave, back in 1997 or 1998, where I was telling him that global warming was real & it was a huge threat to humanity & he literally laughed in my face. Then he got mad when I said I didn't want to have kids who were going to inherit a fucked-up planet from their irresponsible ancestors & live with the consequences of our deliberate inaction. Well, I stand by that decision. Re-electing Trump doesn't guarantee that we will destroy our planet via carbon dioxide, but it is a step in that direction.

I need to stop dwelling on this for now & get to work. Today, I have two jobs:

• I will not drink today, & I will support my friends who are also trying to stay sober.
  
• I will continue to do my small part on cleaning up our soil & groundwater.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, & the wisdom to know the difference. And help me to remember that, no matter the outcome of one election, You are still in control & all things will end up working to Your design, which is so much greater & more awesome than I could ever imagine. "But let justice roll down like water and righteousness like an ever-flowing stream." Amen.

The superrich make lousy neighbors—
they buy a house and tear it down
and build another, twice as big, and leave.
They're never there; they own so many
other houses, each demands a visit.
Entire neighborhoods called fashionable,
bustling with servants and masters, such as
Louisburg Square in Boston or Bel Air in L.A.,
are districts now like Wall Street after dark
or Tombstone once the silver boom went bust.
The essence of superrich is absence.
They like to demonstrate they can afford
to be elsewhere. Don't let them in.
Their riches form a kind of poverty.

From Americana: and Other Poems.